Love is a choice

A priest I know once said in couseling a couple. Love is a choice, choose it, choose to love, now go and choose to love your spouse! If you think it will be easy you are wrong and will set yourself up for failure if you think you can fix all the brokenness sin brings in X amount of days and thats all you have to give then you are measuring and love doesn't measure love doesn't count the cost!

A friend of mine this past weekend told me there was a study done and in long standing marriages there had to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive interactions vs negative interactions for a lasting marriage. 5 to 1! Yikes I am already needing to make up about 50 positive interactions for this day alone!

Most probably know this, but 50% of Americans get divorced! 17% are divorced due to infidelity. It is so sad there is so much brokenness and for those of you who are still married whether happily or struggling keep it up keep being a witness to love for the world. Marriage is so stink-in hard. Every day it can be grueling and you throw the stress of kids and finances in the mix and man o man some days seem so long. It is hard because it is supposed to be hard it is your vocation your path to heaven. Don't give up and don't lose hope and don't lose hope because you must give the world hope! Two couples I admire probably the most for their amazing marriages have gone through some of the most crummy hard times from financial hardships to the extreme of infidelity. They have come out of the other side of some great sufferings and have marriages that I admire. Pray for your spouse pray a lot for your spouse and their fidelity and their purity of heart. You better bet if you have something amazing to offer the world (a marriage that lasts a lifetime)it will be attacked and God will not will it but will allow it to happen in order to give you the opportunity to strengthen you and your marriage.
In directing guiding someone in choosing a spouse I read this cool passage in a book I am reading.
"If it had been left to the world to choose a husband for Mary, it would undoubtedly have chosen a rich and talented man. It would not have thought of choosing a virtuous man, a man who from childhood had lived reverently before God. That is not the way the world thinks. Self-interest and purely human considerations are the motivating forces behind most marriages. The possessions which chance bestows rather than the blessings of grace lead to the contracting of marriages. The result is the many marriages between ill-suited partners, each of whom is the others torment. God permits this to happen as an earthly punishment for those who do not consult Him on so important a matter, a matter that can have a deadly outcome if not guided by Him."

I think this passage is right on and that is why our divorce rate is so high, but I do believe that love can conquer all and even if you did not consult God I believe love can still win and that the torment of the other does not have to rule I believe in love winning! Choose to love it is a verb. Put some action to it and do something about it not just this moment or the next, but every moment for the rest of your life. When you feel yourself slipping away or your spouse choose to love more and love better.