Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Weakness Incarnate

We carry the treasure of grace in a very weak vessel (2 Cor 4:7), that could shatter when we least expect it. "How many enemies are trying to snatch this treasure from us? Within us, there are the passions we have not sufficiently mastered; outside, the spirit of darkness; around us, a corrupt world. A single inopportune occasion is enough to destroy us. A single glance deprived David of the Lord's love. A Delilah can destroy even a Samson. The holiest pillars have fallen after struggling for many years against violent temptations. When we travel the road of virtue one day does not guarantee the next. (Alexander De Rouville)

These are some lines from a book I am reading that I just fell in love with when reading them. They spoke to my heart and I thought they may speak to yours.

Vegetable Garden

We planted our first garden! It was one of the things I wanted to learn how to do this year and wow is there a lot to learn, but it is such a beautiful thing to do and really brings me closer to God and the beauty of his creations. To have the kids watch little seeds pop up out of the ground and form a plant is really neat. We used some plants and some seeds. We planted all organic fruits and veggies. In the pots we have blueberry bushes. It is amazing to me to watch these plants grow and to know that each one has an optimal way to grow for instance blueberries do the best in acidic soil and once you improve their soil quality the fruits multiply. It is very much like all of our souls and how different each of our paths to holiness is and each one of us has a different kind of soil that is optimal and when we are nurturing and tending to the soil we can to produce great fruits. Another amazing thing with gardening is pruning wow wow wow it is just like you read in the Gospels to get rid of the bad and prune is only to bring more goodness. Initially the pruning makes some of the plants look weak and bear, but after pruning the dead stuff off the plant becomes so much stronger and so much more beautiful none of the nutrients are being wasted any longer! The last little gardening thing is my husband is the best! He helped do most of the work as I nursed, made lemonade, made lunch, changed diapers etc... Tristan and Branden were a great little team and because of them we have a beautiful garden.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

No Measuring In Love

A week or so ago I was kissing the kids goodnight and doing the normal talk to them tell them I love them. I normally tell each of them how awesome they are and why they are awesome maybe in a prayer form thanking God for them or just simply telling them. On this particular night I went to Gavin first and told him he was the best boy in the world and he was my favorite in the entire world more special to me than anything. I then stopped in my tracks and thought if I told Gavin this then how could I tell Tristan the very same thing although it was all true once again he is the best boy in the world and he is my favorite in the entire world and more special to me than anything and the same goes for Finn and sweet Annaliese. It became so clear to me that this is how Gods love works. We are each his favorite and he loves us fully 100% completely and we each are the most special to him. Before having multiple children I knew it, but I had never experienced or felt it and in this moment I felt in and the Holy Spirit let me know it. He made it so clear to me that there is no measuring spoon or equality in love from God. He does not choose to love one soul more than another we are loved to the amount that is perfect for each of us. Just as a handicapped child might need more years and more intensive tending to does not mean they are loved more by a mother, just differently. Each of us is so unique and God loves us so uniquely and perfectly. God does not divide out his love into equal parts. We try to imagine God in our human capacity and understand his love within our human capacity, but with love 1+1 doesn't = 2 only when we go beyond the binds of our humanness and allow God to love us the way he wants in whatever capacity that may be only then will we begin to understand that we can't look at our neighbor who seems so blessed or look at our other neighbor who seems to have a huge cross to bear and it doesn't seem to get better. Don't look beyond yourself just allow God to love you uniquely and perfectly and you will bloom wherever he plants you in the good times and in the hard times. God loves you the most and thinks you truly are the best and his favorite! The more we allow God to love us and the more we respond to his love the more we will begin to see the many times he is loving us from the big to the very small blessings happening each and every moment of our lives.