Read the last post to understand it all.
It is 10:15am and Tristan, Annaliese and Gavin went until now to eat their eggs. The deal is you have to eat breakfast to get snack (another major temptation for me was to forgo this rule for today and bypass breakfast...I had not made it yet so it wouldn't be wasted)....so at 10:05 snack began and would end and they needed to eat those eggs to get their snack. There has been much whining and complaining and everything a whiny hungry child does here this morning, but I am proud to say we made it. Several other dynamics happened after I blogged this morning. After I blogged I began to realize the consequences of my choice of choosing to form my children. It would take time! It is always a surprise to me for some reason that my time is not my own. I planned on going to mass and running errands. We would leave at 8:45am this morning and head out, but it all changes because I could not take hungry kids to mass. There is no reason to put myself through that misery and fight of those circumstances. God was actually trying to teach me something different this morning and continuing with my plan this morning would have gone against his will for me. On a normal day if this had happened and my plans had to change I would go around basically cussing and frustrated moving about the house very angry that I was not able to go to mass and blaming the kids because it is in fact their fault! This morning only by the grace of God did I realize mass is not where I needed to be. I wanted to be, but my want is different from my need. I didn't choose not to go, but my circumstances dictated. So I could let it steel my joy and ruin my day or we could come up with a different plan. So here we go different plan I will try you today and meet God's grace along the way instead of meeting me and my frustrations. I loved choosing the different plan and my joy is still there and growing in the grace of God even though I didn't make it to mass. My children are better off for it and so am I! On the exterior this doesn't seem like it would outweigh mass, but without a doubt for today this was a gift from God and allowed me to come very close to him. How this crazy thing called motherhood is slowly teaching me and yet tomorrow I will probably be faced with similar circumstances and there is a really good chance I will choose to meet myself and frustrations rather than meeting the grace of God.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
is that it is actually a discipline for yourself as a parent. To be consistent, to do what you say you are going to do, to follow up with demands, to say no and not change your mind because it is convenient or easy, to not give into whining and complaining. Disciplining your children becomes harder the longer you wait the more you give in the more you let the lines of boundaries fade. Why would your children take you seriously when you give in every time they whine or complain enough...they won't. They are smart and they are learning how to work the system and know just the right buttons to push. This occurs every day for me and so often I cave in and I am inconsistent because it is so darn hard and so uncomfortable and the cold hard truth is I don't have enough discipline in my life and don't like it and when I am pushed for more than I want to give I squirm and it hurts and I choose me so often rather than the betterment of my children and their formation. A very small thing happened this morning that tempted me as many small things do everyday. Everyone was protesting against eggs. Things ranging from tantrums to complaints such as "they make me have a belly ache because I have allergies to eggs". You can see the range in age here. I know also that the longer they go without food the moodier they become. (like me!) I decided I would stick to it and no other options would be given because they all protested immediately after finding out we were having eggs for breakfast and right after the protest was can I have something else. The first thing out of my mouth was No. I told them no...My no must mean no because it is a boundary I want my children to understand. I want them to understand because I want them to listen in more serious situations and to respect what I say because I am their mom. I don't want to be their wishy washy mom who can't make up their mind and doesn't mean what I say. I want them to know when I say no I am not going to let them get the best of me. So we are here now at 8:10am and no one has had food except for Finnian (he eats everything)and it is going to get harder from this point on, but it will be a battle and my sensuality is not going to win today because my no means no and they must understand this. If they are hungry they will eat eggs today or they will go with out breakfast and have to wait a long two hours until 10am snack! Another little situation that tested me this morning in this area was Finnian begging for my eggs by screaming because he had eaten ten minutes before me and had plenty:) He had enough and I didn't need to share, but I wanted to get him to be quiet..right now, but I said no and for him to learn he cannot beg I had to stick with my no and decided I would listen to him cry for my eggs as I ate.