The O'Neil Family

Dinner This Week

2012-01-31T10:37:00.001-08:00

The Beat Train and Dancing with Daddy

2012-01-30T05:09:00.000-08:00

During our school day we do the Beat Train: We turn on music and dance. We also get common household items such as pots, pans, plates, cups, utensils, keys, bags from chips, oatmeal canisters etc...and use those to play the beat and make different sounds. We create our own music. The kids love it and so do I. We have a lot of fun with it.

Dancing in the living room. When daddy is home this is where we dance. We love dancing around here.

ahhh....life

2012-01-27T13:02:00.001-08:00

This is an email from my wonderful mother in law. I thought it was great! She is the mom of 8 with my husband being the oldest and the youngest is 7. I was talking to her recently and telling her about my days to get advice. She sent me this a few days later. It is always nice to know you are not the only one!
The email was entitled ahhh...life

Today (Monday)

Have to leave for the March for life by 8am….

Breakfast?… yes, you have to eat breakfast…no we cannot stop somewhere along the way… you know that…why do you ask every time even though you get the SAME answer???...

Still cleaning up from Saturday’s party… slow and steady wins the race right?? trying to do a little before we left for the March

Cleaning the big coffee pot …. Spilled the coffee grounds (a lot) all over the kitchen floor… great, this was supposed to go fast so I could get dressed and ready

i am cleaning up the coffee grounds and Peyton yells…. “gross!!” “what iiiiis THIS??” ohhhhh she says, “someone barfed!” what? Who barfed??

Yuck….. the dog barfed… I am still not ready, I moved from the coffee grounds to the barf…. As I am barking orders…. Clean up after yourself…. Get dressed, brush your teeth… I don’t know where your shoes are… you should! You wear them!... get coats…yes you DO need a coat!! It’s rainy and cold… and yes you DO need socks …get off the couch…ect..ect…

Wrangle the kids… ok really?.... just kidding…more like herding cats… seriously!... we were supposed to LEAVE at 8…not sit down to START eating breakfast (hmm guess who that was?) the wonderful dog throws up in the TV room… again

We leave at 8:27…. Mass starts at 9am at St Bens… yep…we were late… on a bright note, God blessed us with unusually light traffic even with the crazy weather.

Got to mass 10 minutes late…just in time to catch the last of the Gospel… we gathered with the other families for the rosary. Went to lunch with everyone and headed down to the March traffic was horrible due to the rain… (we decided that God must figure “well they are doing it, let’s make it REALLY count” and He turned up the rain…so the graces would be multiplied!)…but, true to form… God saw fit to stop the rain right as the rally and march began

All in all the March went well… not as many hecklers as in years past … powerful, as always to see the huge number of people, primarily Catholics, gathered for the same cause… the music concluded with an amazing rendition of a song I wish I knew the name of!! Then as always… they broadcast a real recording of the heartbeat of a baby in utero…. Then it stops abruptly…. And the trumpeters play “Taps”…. And I cry

We climb back in the car… tired, satisfied and changed… now … back to the same life… how can we make a greater impact though?... how can we be a bigger voice for those sweet babies?.... all within our state in life? how?

Home again…. More barf… thanks Nikki… I offer up the cleaning of the carpets for an end to the killing of babies and for anyone affected by it. I can do that… it’s what I am being called to do right now … it is my state in life …right?

Several hours later… carpets clean (as much as possible) … house is still in disarray but ….dinner was made, I finished planning the school week for Cameron which got put off because of the busy weekend… the little people are in bed, the big guys are at hockey… off I go now to plan for Landen and Peyton’s school week…

God Bless you my sweet daughter in-law!...

Count on my prayers as you fight the good fight!!

Much love,

Ruth

DISNEY!

2012-01-10T05:25:00.001-08:00

We were Blessed with an opportunity to go to Disney for the first time! There is an older couple at our church (we didn't know them) that had booked a week at a resort in Disney and could not use the week. It was a non-refundable trip. Our family was attending the Advent mission at church and they were as well. On Tuesday the 6th of December Branden was running around the Parish Hall like a crazy man playing with our kids (he does this often and some times gets in trouble - he is a big kid himself). The man and his wife see him and they say I wonder if that guy in the plaid shirt over there running around with all of those kids would like to go to Disney. SOOOOOO Long story short....we said yes and left for Disney on Saturday the 10th!! We stayed for a week and had the best time ever! Disney is the happy place. It just makes you smile and for some reason we all seemed to have an odd amount of energy that propelled us from the wee hours of the morning to very late into the night without naps. Yes that is right we park hopped and would wake up to take the first bus to the park. We would get there as it was opening and stayed until they kicked us out. If the parked closed at 6 or 7pm we would hop on the tram and go to Epcot or Disney until they closed at 9:30pm and then after that we would come back to the resort at 10pm and swim. Then around llpm we would sit in the hot tub drinking wine while the kids continued swimming. Then we would start all over again the next morning! We did all of this with all of our five children. I know it sounds crazy, but it is true and it was a lot of fun! We unfortunately do not have many pictures, but we have a few. The more kids we have had the less pictures we get and slowly I am learning to detach from having pictures of everything all the time. It is a major stress to stop and get pictures of everyone when the moment is good and the attitudes are positive so we keep going in the good moments and stop in the bad moments, but in the bad moments I don't want pics either!! Can't win either way so I just let go of pics and enjoy the moments. Also in Disney to keep up with five kids with two adults is a lot of work. Adding pictures into the mix was at many moment just too much!

and he noticed....

2012-01-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

We were in Disney at MGM Studios on The Great Movie Ride. We were on the ride and at the end of the ride they pull you up to a big screen that shows you clips of a bunch of movies. One of the clips was of a woman dressed in a one piece bathing suit with a low neck line. She is walking from the water in a provocative way with a look on her face that compliments the walk and everything about the image from her hair to her toes screams sexy and screams objectify me. And He Noticed...Our son (7) for the very first time noticed. In a loud voice he said ewww and turned his eyes from the image. His innocence was attacked. It was a knife to his soul and he felt it and he turned from the pain that it caused his innocence. I was obviously saddened by the opportunity for that to happen, but then I gave thanks that we were able to be there with him for that moment. I was so thankful that he gets to be with me at home during these early years to protect him and guard his innocence, so when it is attacked it can be known rather than go unnoticed. I was glad because that attack could be guided by his parents rather than his peers. I can limit how often it is seen by guarding him, but the fact is it will be seen at some point whether it is on a billboard or at a grocery store, but the part that I can change is how we shape what is seen. I can control being there I can help form his heart and his mind in a way that is pleasing to God and in a way that respects and loves women rather than objectifies them. I feel such a strong commitment especially to my boys to protect their purity to teach them how to love women and not objectify them. I want them to cherish and protect women. I want them to feel a responsibility for protecting the dignity of every woman.

Advent In Our Home

2011-11-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

Advent In Our Home...
1. Introduced the Theme: Watch, Prepare and Wait
We hung up the sign I made in a word document. I printed it, laminated it and then ran purple ribbon through it.

2. We placed our Advent Wreath in the middle of our dining room table where we eat dinner every night. We blessed our Advent wreath. If your candles are not staying in place melt them into place...Branden had that idea this year! Great Idea! Advent Wreath Daily Readings and Prayers can be found at www.churchyear.net/adventwreath.html

3. We created a purple chain that has quotes from Saints on each day. I got all of my quotes from EWTN's daily readings and copy and pasted them into a word document. I printed it and then the kids pasted the paper on purple construction paper and then we cut each strip. Then we stapled each strip together. We will read one each day of Advent. Before Tristan could read I just put numbers in each. I will probably do Bible verses one year or maybe parts of the Catechism etc...
4. I took our big chalkboard I use for entertaining the little kids while I teach and we are using that to track our Advent Giving Mission. Every day the kids look for ways to be extraordinarily good or helpful or look for ways to serve someone. Every day after we read the quote of the day from our chain we paste it to the board and then that evening we talk about the things of the day. An example is when we were in Walmart a woman dropped her bracelet and Tristan ran to go and get it and give it to the woman. He saw it and acted.

Expecting More than I am Willing to Give

2011-11-21T05:18:00.000-08:00

In the realm of parenting.
1. How often I expect the kids to ask me one time for something and not ask again if I say no...because my no means no. They do ask more than once and sometimes many times leading me to great frustration and sometimes anger, but they have learned that what I expect is inconsistent with what I give them. On a rough day, when I am tired, when I am overwhelmed and sometimes out of desperation to get them away from me I will say yes on the fifth time after I have said no four other times and said the same exact words above...my no means no. So actually what I expect and what I am giving them with my actions are two entirely different things. What they are hearing is we should ask more than once and maybe many times just to make sure mom really means no because sometimes she says no, but then she changes her mind so maybe I should ask five more times just to make sure! Wouldn't you do the same if you knew that would be the outcome! They are smart.
2. So often I expect first time obedience or another way of saying this is listening the first time. Whether it be walking through a parking lot and keeping everyone together or getting out of the car or picking up their toys or coming to dinner. I expect them to listen on the first time and often when they don't listen the person it inconveniences the most is me and this leads me to great frustration and I wonder why they don't listen. I expect first time listeners, but I give them a wife that doesn't always listen to her husband. I give them a mom that is on the computer and to distracted to listen to their big ideas or look at their newest lego creation. Even in other very important areas of life such as meals and schooling I fall into thinking my things and my time are more important. So often during these things that I think are so important I tend to not listen to the kids. Whether it be an I can't listen right now, or get out of here and find something else to do or I yell at them for being in the way or I just say uh huh...oh neat...okay and I really am not listening to their story or looking at their creation or whatever it might be. They think and believe as we all do that we are super important. Fortunately for us adults we know there is an Africa out there with tons of starving people dying daily and we know that there are babies being aborted daily and we know that there are families falling apart all around the world, but unfortunately for us on a daily basis we don't choose to live in a world bigger than ourselves. For the little ones they don't know or understand where or what Africa is and they don't understand that children can starve to death because they only know their life and can only understand how they have felt. They cannot go outside of themselves and are not supposed to at this point which makes them really a big part in this world that they know. They are a big and very important part and that is the way God intended it to be, but as a parent I tend to not let them know and let them feel as important as I should by listening intently to their ideas or looking at the pile of rocks and leaves they have found...the mom that doesn't listen looks at their rock and leaf collection and sees just rocks and leaves but the mom God created me to be sees those rocks and leaves turn into the beautiful treasures that my children are seeing.
Children will listen if we listen.

A Day at the Farm

2011-11-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

A day at the farm. We have some friends who own a farm and we have been able to enjoy a few days out there fishing, having picnics, going on trails, riding horses, throwing rocks, playing in creeks and getting dirty! It is such a blessing! One day when we went out there we took some pictures. They turned out so wonderful!

Babies and Sleeping

2011-11-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Great Article. We co-sleep around here for the first year or so and love it! There is more and more research showing that co-sleeping is great for everyone! Read the article and read through the experiments. Very fascinating. Here is a little blurb from the experiment. To me it seems so natural to just have the baby right next to you especially when nursing.
FROM THE ARTICLE:
What to call it
Sleeping with your baby has various labels: The earthy term "family bed," while appealing to many, is a turn-off to parents who imagine a pile of kids squeezed into a small bed with dad and the family dog perched precariously on the mattress edge. "Co-sleeping" sounds more like what adults do. "Bed-sharing" is the term frequently used in medical writings. I prefer the term "sleep-sharing" because, as you will learn, a baby shares more than just bed space. An infant and mother sleeping side by side share lots of interactions that are safe and healthy.

FROM THE STUDY:
Our study revealed that Lauren breathed better when sleeping next to Martha than when sleeping alone. Her breathing and her heart rate were more regular during shared sleep, and there were fewer "dips," low points in respiration and blood oxygen from stop-breathing episodes. On the night Lauren slept with Martha, there were no dips in her blood oxygen. On the night Lauren slept alone, there were 132 dips. The results were similar in a second infant, whose parents generously allowed us into their bedroom. We studied Lauren and the other infant again at five months. As expected, the physiological differences between shared and solo sleep were less pronounced at five months than at two months.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes

Inclusion - Teaching to the Family not just the individual

2011-11-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

With Tristan in first grade and Annaliese in kindergarten and one more child added to the mix school has definitely become more interesting this year! So we change. With life you can never stay the same. Honestly to stay the same would be incredibly boring and very frustrating (I have tried before and it didn't work)! So we keep moving and keep changing as we need to. So here are a few things we have been doing with school lately. I am including everyone more and more in the activities we do if not there are more messes than I care to deal with and more crying than I can handle and a super frustrated mom! So I have changed and it is working...for now :) One activity we do for math on a regular basis is Mom's Shop. We do a lot with this and everyone is working on a different skill. For Gavin he is working on identifying the coins by hearing the name and pointing to it and matching the picture of the coin he needs to use to buy something. Annaliese is working on knowing the names of the coins and the values and Finn is working on using his words and manners. Tristan is working on adding and subtracting and substituting coins that have equal value! This makes everyone happy. I sometimes add special things to moms shop, but the way that we do it most of the time is for the kids to buy their 10am snack! They love having a choice and I love that they are learning. You can see we use a window and I sit on one side of the window and the kids on the other side and AMAZINGLY it turns into MOMS SHOP and the kids think it is so much fun and so do I!

Another thing we do is we use laminated letter cards for different games. One is a hopscotch type of game where they hop from letter to letter saying the sound or blending a word or saying the letter name. Finn just has fun! Gavin is learning letter names and basic identification. Annaliese is learning sounds and works on blending. They love this game. Then we take the same cards and the kids are timed and crawl on their knees to identify the answer to a question I will give them and touch the answer with a bat. An example of a question is what letter says ____ or touch the letter a ____ or spell the sounds ac etc.... Pictures will hopefully help give you a better idea of what I put into words.

The last thing that you will see a picture of that we recently did was learning the letter H. It was cool enough where we could all say the sound of h on the window and cause it fog up. Finn just fogged up the window and made it dirty. Gavin said the sound and fogged up the window and made it dirty. Annaliese said the letter the sound and wrote the letter on the fog and made the window dirty!

As you can see we are just trying to include everyone in some way and it makes every one happy, especially me!

And in the picture where Gavin and Finn are crawling through the window...sometimes we do make it window day. We don't use the door only the window...even me!

Boys will be Boys

2011-10-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Gavin. He turned 4 on October 8th. His two requests were that he wanted a sword and a yax. So we decided boys no matter what will turn whatever is around them into swords, guns etc... Sticks have been our boys preferred way of waging war on each other with stick fights etc... We have piles of sticks sitting outside each door of our house.
How we celebrate birthdays....We don't have parties with friends until the age of seven when we feel they can really appreciate and anticipate the fun. Then from the age of seven on we will have a birthday party with friends once every three years.
So how do we celebrate...
1. A couple nights before the birthday party we let the birthday child stay up late with us and talk about what would make for a special day.
Gavin requested...a star wars cake with star wars decorations, a sword, a yax, a movie, and pizza.
2. So we decorate the dining room of our house with streamers, balloons and of course the theme of the party Star Wars!
3. We make a birthday chair that is decorated much more than the others.
4. We eat off of the themed plates and drink out of the cups for at least a couple days (a good wipe down with a paper towel makes paper plates last quite a while).
5. We can't forget the oh so important birthday cereal. We don't each much cereal around here and if we do it is definitely not the fun sugary kind. So each birthday they get to pick out a big giant box of sugar cereal the night before their birthday. This is their birthday breakfast along with a breakfast favorite like homemade cinnamon rolls, pancakes, waffles or french toast. Normally every one chooses the cinnamon rolls...they are amazingly yummy, but take more time and effort than the other choices which means we have them at birthdays and Christmas and that is all.
6. The birthday kid gets to make the decisions for the day. All day what they want to do and eat.
7. We sing happy birthday in all different voices each person yells out a different theme and then we sing it example...the spooky way, the hillbilly way, the soft way, the squeaky way, the loud way. We come up with all kinds of crazy ways and we end up somewhere around twelve different ways that we have sung happy birthday to the birthday kid.
8. The birthday kid gets to pick out their own present within a budgeted amount of money. We take them to Toys R Us, Target, Walmart and sometimes the Dollar Store and wonder the stores looking at everything. This is their favorite thing to do.
9. Date Night: We will do it every birthday for each kid because we find this part to be the most important of all. We take the birthday kid on a date. Mom and dad and only the birthday kid. This could range from going to the park and packing a picnic when money is tight or what we like being able to do because we rarely do it is taking them somewhere special like the bowling alley, ice skating, jump zone etc... Gavin wants to go bowling and eat pizza. Branden will probably take him bowling to cut down on costs and then I will get a sitter so I can meet them for dinner and dessert. At dinner we always make a list of the things we hope to see them accomplish in the next year and they tell us the things they would like to accomplish. (teaching them goal setting skills) We review their previous years goals. Branden tracks all of it on his phone and/or ipad.

I think that is it minus the fact our kids with their theme like to dress up on the day of the birthday with the theme of their decorations. Birthdays are fun and birthdays are simple ways of giving thanks for the little person God has given us.

Moving...An Amazing Story

2011-10-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

So we moved two weeks before Emmaline was born to an amazing house that we love! This house is truly a blessing. The story is so moving to me so I am going to share it. It starts out something like this...God is faithful...he is faithful in all things. He provides for us in so many ways every day. He provides for us more and more the more children we have. One month before Emmaline was born mothers day was celebrated and my mom came in town to be with us for the weekend. To say I love garage sales is an understatement. Nearly everything we own is from a garage sale! My motto "a coat of paint makes all things new". My mom watched the kids while Branden and I had an hour before a soccer game. We went to a few yard sales in neighborhoods we had been to and then we went to a garage sale I found on craigslist. We followed the directions to a neighborhood we had never been to before and turned in and loved it immediately. Older homes on big lots. We both commented on the lots and mature trees. Then we saw a house on the right with an amazing yard and a front porch and we both said wow that is an awesome house. We continued down the road to the yard sale. After the yard sale I said babe lets go dream. So we stopped at the house again (note: we were not house hunting nor did we need to we were in a lease that lasted for another 15 months and we never pick up fliers because it leaves my heart wanting)and there was a for sale sign and some fliers. We picked up a flier and it was definitely not in our league, but I said Lord I would love to live in a house like this some day. We took the flier home and put it on the fridge. Branden said it would give us something to work towards.
Two weeks go by and Branden begins working on the kitchen floor. He would exchange his work on projects in the house for compensation on our rent. So his latest project was ripping up the laminate kitchen floor and putting tile down. As he was ripping up the floor he found quite a bit of mold. I said YIKES and freaked out and we called a mold specialist. I knew we had obviously been living there with it, but I did not want to bring a new baby home to a bunch of mold spores. The mold man came and told us it was a certain type of mold that needed to be removed in a certain way and that we probably shouldn't stay there. So we house hopped to our wonderful friends homes while we waited for the mold to be removed. Much to our dismay our landlord lied to us and went behind our backs and removed the mold improperly etc...(there is a history here of a list of many things he had previously done to us to take advantage of us). So this was the icing on the cake and Branden said we will not bring a new baby into this house. Our landlord said I understand (him saying this in and of it itself is a miracle) and poof we were without a place to live. We did get our deposit back because our landlord broke the lease with his actions. So two weeks from baby and no place to call home. Branden was working on the floor on Sunday. Tuesday we broke the lease. Friday a friend from church called Branden and said he had someone he thought we should contact. Our friend had lunch with this man a month prior and when they were speaking the man mentioned he had a house for sale, but he was really considering taking it off the market because he wanted to help a young, big, Catholic family. He said he learned too late in life what was important and it was he and his wife job to help young families that are open to life. So Branden called this man John at lunch time on Friday. John said come on over I will meet you at the house in thirty minutes. Hey gave Branden the address and Branden came to pick me up. As we pulled into the neighborhood Branden and I were super excited because we recognized it from two weeks prior and we both said again wow we love this neighborhood. We continue down the street looking at the mailboxes for the address and we came upon THE HOUSE. The same exact house we had a flier for on our fridge. Okay if you don't know Franklin it is not a tiny city and I bet there are thousands of houses for sale in Franklin alone. So I started crying and Branden as well. We could not believe this was the house we were coming to look at. Both of us in the back of our minds thought we cannot afford this house be it a rental or purchase. We meet John in tears and explain the story and look at the house and fall more in love the more we see. He explained we are going to make it work and that is exactly what we did. John and his wife are being extremely generous to our family. We are so grateful to them and we love our new house. There are still boxes that have not been unpacked, but we are getting there. One thing I did do upon moving in and the month that followed was started coming up with systems and a better way to organize our stuff. I will post later some of the things I have done that are working for us with five kids and homeschooling two of them now. So in summary we Love our house it is more than we need and we are so grateful to God for his detailed love to our family.

Sweet Emmaline....

2011-10-06T07:23:00.001-07:00

So lots of life and lots of fun since my last post. We moved and had sweet Emmaline!
We are in love! Totally Smitten over her! All of us! It is amazing how a new little person comes into your life and you can't imagine life without them. She is talking and smiling all of the time. This girly loves her thumb. She loves to be around the action and is constantly being held or talked to by someone. I know some people think children may be deprived of attention when you have a handful of children, but I beg to differ I think Emmaline gets more attention than her previous siblings because there are more people to love her. Lately she loves to sit in the bumbo chair and hang out in the kitchen where I spend a good portion of my day and there is an insane amount of traffic coming in and out doing school work and playing. She is always entertained.

Cruise Fun With My Hubby

2011-03-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

So for the first time since our honeymoon Branden and I decided we needed to seize the moment. We had an offer from my mom to watch our kiddos for a week and we had some money. We could fix the broken ac in our van, get dental work done or go on a cruise. A cruise most definitely sounded like the most logical choice!!! We booked a seven night cruise and had the best time ever! We went on Carnival Cruise lines and we had three ports of call. We went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica, Grand Caymen, and Cozumel. Oh we had a blast. It was so fun spending time with my hubby in a relaxed atmosphere with no kids around for an entire week. I love cruises! I look at the pictures and my heart aches to go back. We are definitely going to try and make it a priority to getaway every year. It was the greatest gift for our marriage. We had time together with no other distractions. Thanks so much to my mom for keeping up with our children for an entire week! We obviously couldn't have done it without her! We did everything there was to do. I realized relaxing away from kids for me is not laying on a lounge chair and reading books. It is playing volleyball everyday, putt putt golf, hiking, snorkeling etc.... I realized just how much I love being active and that was a rest for both Branden and I. We danced every night and went to the casino one night and got sucked into the cheap little games and came away with nothing. Cozumel was our favorite stop of all. We rented a jeep and had the best day there.

All in a Days Play

2011-03-04T06:13:00.001-08:00

So the temperature was above 60 degrees...62 degrees to be exact and of course the sprinkler and bathing suits come out. The water was so cold, but they had so much fun. I figure as long as they are not whining or complaining about it they can go for it. They love to play all day. All four them play and play and play! I love it! This I believe is what kids are supposed to do! We go from costumes to bathing suits many days of the week. The kids in the morning here are in their costumes. The boys normally pick one costume and stay, but Annaliese switches quite frequently from princess to super girl to ballerina...you know trying to cover all the basics. So as you can see from the last picture in the post it got a little messy after a bit. The kids by the time they were done were fully encased in a very thick layer of mud. It took a couple of baths to get the mud out of their hair. Am I crazy for letting them do this...probably!

Trip to Kentucky

2011-02-19T08:12:00.000-08:00

My cousin Amber got married and we were so excited to go to the wedding. The kids were so excited about the dancing! Miss Laura Czarka has Annaliese and Tristan come over one day a month to do special projects and bake etc... They have so much fun with her and love going. We are thankful for the time she has them. Tristan was very concerned about dancing and he told Miss Laura that she needed to teach him some things. She asked what things do you need to learn and he said I need to learn how to dance because we are going to a wedding and I need to learn some dance moves! He was very concerned with learning dance moves and as you can see below many days leading up to the wedding we added dance class into our daily routine. I taught the kids some basic steps and some swing dancing. You will see in the pictures below Annaliese and Tristan trying out their dance moves at the wedding. They did great! The wedding was absolutely beautiful and we had so much fun with all of the extended family.

We made it.....

2011-01-27T08:16:00.000-08:00

Read the last post to understand it all.
It is 10:15am and Tristan, Annaliese and Gavin went until now to eat their eggs. The deal is you have to eat breakfast to get snack (another major temptation for me was to forgo this rule for today and bypass breakfast...I had not made it yet so it wouldn't be wasted)....so at 10:05 snack began and would end and they needed to eat those eggs to get their snack. There has been much whining and complaining and everything a whiny hungry child does here this morning, but I am proud to say we made it. Several other dynamics happened after I blogged this morning. After I blogged I began to realize the consequences of my choice of choosing to form my children. It would take time! It is always a surprise to me for some reason that my time is not my own. I planned on going to mass and running errands. We would leave at 8:45am this morning and head out, but it all changes because I could not take hungry kids to mass. There is no reason to put myself through that misery and fight of those circumstances. God was actually trying to teach me something different this morning and continuing with my plan this morning would have gone against his will for me. On a normal day if this had happened and my plans had to change I would go around basically cussing and frustrated moving about the house very angry that I was not able to go to mass and blaming the kids because it is in fact their fault! This morning only by the grace of God did I realize mass is not where I needed to be. I wanted to be, but my want is different from my need. I didn't choose not to go, but my circumstances dictated. So I could let it steel my joy and ruin my day or we could come up with a different plan. So here we go different plan I will try you today and meet God's grace along the way instead of meeting me and my frustrations. I loved choosing the different plan and my joy is still there and growing in the grace of God even though I didn't make it to mass. My children are better off for it and so am I! On the exterior this doesn't seem like it would outweigh mass, but without a doubt for today this was a gift from God and allowed me to come very close to him. How this crazy thing called motherhood is slowly teaching me and yet tomorrow I will probably be faced with similar circumstances and there is a really good chance I will choose to meet myself and frustrations rather than meeting the grace of God.

The Irony in disciplining your Children....

2011-01-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

is that it is actually a discipline for yourself as a parent. To be consistent, to do what you say you are going to do, to follow up with demands, to say no and not change your mind because it is convenient or easy, to not give into whining and complaining. Disciplining your children becomes harder the longer you wait the more you give in the more you let the lines of boundaries fade. Why would your children take you seriously when you give in every time they whine or complain enough...they won't. They are smart and they are learning how to work the system and know just the right buttons to push. This occurs every day for me and so often I cave in and I am inconsistent because it is so darn hard and so uncomfortable and the cold hard truth is I don't have enough discipline in my life and don't like it and when I am pushed for more than I want to give I squirm and it hurts and I choose me so often rather than the betterment of my children and their formation. A very small thing happened this morning that tempted me as many small things do everyday. Everyone was protesting against eggs. Things ranging from tantrums to complaints such as "they make me have a belly ache because I have allergies to eggs". You can see the range in age here. I know also that the longer they go without food the moodier they become. (like me!) I decided I would stick to it and no other options would be given because they all protested immediately after finding out we were having eggs for breakfast and right after the protest was can I have something else. The first thing out of my mouth was No. I told them no...My no must mean no because it is a boundary I want my children to understand. I want them to understand because I want them to listen in more serious situations and to respect what I say because I am their mom. I don't want to be their wishy washy mom who can't make up their mind and doesn't mean what I say. I want them to know when I say no I am not going to let them get the best of me. So we are here now at 8:10am and no one has had food except for Finnian (he eats everything)and it is going to get harder from this point on, but it will be a battle and my sensuality is not going to win today because my no means no and they must understand this. If they are hungry they will eat eggs today or they will go with out breakfast and have to wait a long two hours until 10am snack! Another little situation that tested me this morning in this area was Finnian begging for my eggs by screaming because he had eaten ten minutes before me and had plenty:) He had enough and I didn't need to share, but I wanted to get him to be quiet..right now, but I said no and for him to learn he cannot beg I had to stick with my no and decided I would listen to him cry for my eggs as I ate.

Losing Teeth

2010-11-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

I thought this was so funny and wanted to remember it. Tristan lost his fourth tooth yesterday when Gavin through his cup at him. The cup hit Tristan's loose tooth and knocked the tooth out! I thought this was so funny and so did the boys. Tristan actually said that was a much better way to loose a tooth rather than mom or dad pulling it.

With Every Baby Comes a Loaf of Bread

2010-11-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is a saying my mother in law told me several years ago and I treasure the words to this day especially when we find out we are having another baby! Yes we are expecting number five and we are all so excited. The ETA of this baby is June 9, 2011.
I love these words because it speaks to so many concerns when allowing God the opportunity to bless you with another little blessing. There are so many excuses that can keep us from taking the leap of faith and conceiving another baby. Some of those things are money, time, energy, lack of resources, lack of patience, to busy, to crazy, to messy, can't keep up. You name it I have said it to myself and have heard many other people say it as well. Thankfully as in exercising or training for a marathon you grow a little at a time. You are pushed a little further each day you train. The process with children begins with the pregnancy. The exhaustion, sickness, uncomfortableness, the pain, the varicose veins, the indigestion and whatever else you may face in your pregnancy. These are little acts of love through suffering that are preparing your heart for a new little person that will rock your world. For the funny, the bad, the ugly, the messy and mostly the wonderful each new little baby totally rocks my world. If I thought any differently I would be deceiving myself. The baby comes and the grace comes and your heart grows and stretches a little more each day. Everything stretches to the point that you look back after having your fifth baby and four seems super easy now. Yes five seems insanely crazy right now and you can't keep up with anything, but heck four is a breeze now. Take one away for a day and leave me with four and I have a break!

Lets step back for a minute when I had 1 I was 100% full and gave all that I had and thought there was nothing more within me left to give. No more patience, love, time, energy and no more money, but then sweet little two was conceived and the process began the grace began to flow, the grace did not come before we conceived but after and continues to flow from that point as it is needed. So two comes and wow does one child seem so easy because you are expanding and growing because of the grace of God. I think the grace of God is so evident in openness to life and having more children because I look at women with eight and ten children and I really believe it is not humanly possible and that is why there are so few people who take that leap so many times. They are having to rely heavily on God because their capacity is so limited. It all seems so unexplainable humanly speaking because the woman with one is 100% full and the woman with ten is the exact same. It is only explainable by the grace of God. He will always give the grace so take the leap when he is asking. I am not saying every family has to have a brood of 10, but I am saying God does have a number for each family and this is such an important area to listen and to put aside our worries and trust that if he asks us to bring another life into this world the grace will only come after we say yes after we take the leap.

Tristan's Football

2010-09-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

Tristan played football this year and loved it! He wanted to try every sport and he has now tried soccer, basketball and football. He loves everyone of them. He is best at soccer, but good at the other two as well. In football this year he for some reason was two years younger than everyone else. We still haven't figured that one out, but it worked and it made him better and made him have to work harder! Gavin loves football and can't wait to get out there. Going to the games is always fun for all of us. Sometimes I think my kids like the snacks after the game more than the actual game itself or the sport.

St. Simons 2010

2010-06-30T12:53:00.000-07:00

We went on vacation to St. Simons Island two weeks ago and had a blast as always. Thanks to Branden's grandparents that have a condo down there we are able to go every year and have a wonderful time every year. Every year we take lots of bike rides, spend a ton of time at the beach, spend time at the boardwalk, play on playgrounds putt putt golf, swim swim and more swimming and eat lots of ice cream. This year I started morning dates with the kids and I would wake up with each one of them before everyone else and take them to get a donut and then go for a walk on the beach to get shells. This was a wonderful experience and a great way to take advantage of having Branden there to watch the other kids. They loved it and I did to. I see my kids in a whole new light when there are by themselves. I love it! This year was Finnians first year at the beach and he loved it! He spent a lot of time in the wagon he would sleep and eat in there on the beach and sometimes just hang out because he wanted to. I love our wagon! He was adorable on the beach he loved the water and loved to eat the sand. Annaliese and Tristan did not want to every come out of the water. They would stay in the ocean until we dragged them out. They loved catching waves on boogie boards and learning to dive through them with Branden. Branden is loving it because all he likes to do is play and have fun and now are kids are able to do that with him. They would call the big waves "big dogs" and the little ones were "little winkies". Don't know who came up with the names but by the end of the week we were trying to go to the beach at the perfect time to catch the big dogs. We also flew Brandens kite made sand castle on the beach and big deep holes. The kids love making moats and every year we make a monkey town USA. Oh and Gavin not the biggest fan of the water, but so good when we were out there. All he wanted to do was eat when we were at the beach.

Standing in Line

2010-06-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

So I met a woman that was concerned bc Tristan was not going to school he would not learn the basic things like standing/walking in a line. It occurred to me the other day during morning mass he will learn how to stand in a line (don't know how much that matters), but the line he must learn to follow leads to Christ not the music room or recess or the bathroom. The discipline formed when walking in a line would be the same except for the fact you must keep proper distance from the people in front of you during mass and you must keep praying hands as you walk in the line. I think that is way harder and the discipline formed when walking in line during mass I think may be more of a formation of the will than being in line at school going from place to place.

Love is a choice

2010-06-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

A priest I know once said in couseling a couple. Love is a choice, choose it, choose to love, now go and choose to love your spouse! If you think it will be easy you are wrong and will set yourself up for failure if you think you can fix all the brokenness sin brings in X amount of days and thats all you have to give then you are measuring and love doesn't measure love doesn't count the cost!

A friend of mine this past weekend told me there was a study done and in long standing marriages there had to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive interactions vs negative interactions for a lasting marriage. 5 to 1! Yikes I am already needing to make up about 50 positive interactions for this day alone!

Most probably know this, but 50% of Americans get divorced! 17% are divorced due to infidelity. It is so sad there is so much brokenness and for those of you who are still married whether happily or struggling keep it up keep being a witness to love for the world. Marriage is so stink-in hard. Every day it can be grueling and you throw the stress of kids and finances in the mix and man o man some days seem so long. It is hard because it is supposed to be hard it is your vocation your path to heaven. Don't give up and don't lose hope and don't lose hope because you must give the world hope! Two couples I admire probably the most for their amazing marriages have gone through some of the most crummy hard times from financial hardships to the extreme of infidelity. They have come out of the other side of some great sufferings and have marriages that I admire. Pray for your spouse pray a lot for your spouse and their fidelity and their purity of heart. You better bet if you have something amazing to offer the world (a marriage that lasts a lifetime)it will be attacked and God will not will it but will allow it to happen in order to give you the opportunity to strengthen you and your marriage.
In directing guiding someone in choosing a spouse I read this cool passage in a book I am reading.
"If it had been left to the world to choose a husband for Mary, it would undoubtedly have chosen a rich and talented man. It would not have thought of choosing a virtuous man, a man who from childhood had lived reverently before God. That is not the way the world thinks. Self-interest and purely human considerations are the motivating forces behind most marriages. The possessions which chance bestows rather than the blessings of grace lead to the contracting of marriages. The result is the many marriages between ill-suited partners, each of whom is the others torment. God permits this to happen as an earthly punishment for those who do not consult Him on so important a matter, a matter that can have a deadly outcome if not guided by Him."

I think this passage is right on and that is why our divorce rate is so high, but I do believe that love can conquer all and even if you did not consult God I believe love can still win and that the torment of the other does not have to rule I believe in love winning! Choose to love it is a verb. Put some action to it and do something about it not just this moment or the next, but every moment for the rest of your life. When you feel yourself slipping away or your spouse choose to love more and love better.

Holy Week Missions

2010-05-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

For the past 10 years or so I have done some kind of mission work during Holy week. Holy week is just not the same for me and my family without bringing Christ to others and stepping out of the comforts of our home and giving people hope and joy by bringing them Christ. I figure there is no better time than to accompany Christ during these moments we remember his passion and death.
Most of my missions were done in Atlanta going door to door praying with people and accompanying them in their joys and sorrows and bringing them back to the church by making invitations and most of all teaching them more about the love of God. I also went to Mexico in 2003 to do missions and this was one amazing experience. We went into the rural parts of Mexico and traveled by foot from house to house many times speaking few words, but giving lots of smiles, hugs and playing lots of games. It was a life changing experience for me. It is amazing how you give so little and Christ gives you so much. There has not been a mission where I have not received more than I have given. Remember the loaves and fish story in the Gospels...it still happens today every day with each one of us when we give to God the little we have. The little we have is never ever enough because we are so limited, but God asks us give it anyways give it all give it out of love to me and I will multiply I will make it something beautiful! I am deceived by my pride often to think that I have done something great when really I did so little, I gave so little and God made up for the rest and it is only with him and through him that I can ever accomplish anything worthwhile anything really wonderful!
So I decided that we needed to continue with missions here in TN even though I would have to plan them and even though I had not thought it through until the week before Holy week. My family was going to do missions and they would have to be simple. So this is what we did. They were so simple, but they ended up being so beautiful. I began thinking about who we should serve in the community and the word dignity occurred to me...we should go were dignity is lacking in our world. My thought was the elderly, the poor, the unborn! Those are three areas that are so blatantly obvious that our world has no respect and provides no dignity. Our mission to provide dignity where dignity is lacking! So I called a local nursing home and got in touch with the activities coordinator. I proposed to her that a group of kids (I did not have the kids at the time) would act out the Station of the Cross for the community. She did not know what the Stations of the Cross were, but her response was "Well that sounds way better than bingo." They had bingo planned for 3pm on Good Friday, but now we were allowed to come in and perform the Stations of the Cross for the community at 3pm on Good Friday. During Lent every Friday our family does the living Stations of the Cross. At the beginning of Lent Branden took the kids to Home Depot and got the materials to build the cross we would use to do the live Stations every Friday night. It was a grand production every week! The kids loved it and wanted to do it more often than once a week. So I knew at least my kids would know how to act out the Stations now we just needed some more kids so my kids and some big kids to be narrators. It worked out we had about 15 kids to participate in the Stations and we even had Mr. Gill to play the guitar for us and every third station we sang the song where you there when they crucified my Lord. It was beautiful and it did touch many hearts and instead of bingo we were able to bring these people the beauty of Gods love through these little children.
The last thing we did for missions is invited families to gather with us at the abortion clinic in Nashville to pray at 10am on Holy Saturday. We ended up being sick and couldn't go to the mission we planned, but there were families there and there was one story of a woman named Faith that was specifically impacted by a family there praying. She drove into the abortion center parking lot and then drove out and then drove back in and then walked across the street to talk to our friend Angela who has three young boy and her husband Matt was with her. Faith told Angela her story and why she wanted to have an abortion...she was overwhelmed and she had one son with cerebral palsy and his medical bills were expensive...she did not have the energy or money to care for another baby. Angela gave her hope and Faith left the abortion clinic. There is such beauty and grace that comes from praying for the unborn.
Missions are amazing if you don't do them or don't have them around you then start them! They won't only change others lives...they will change yours as well. What I described above was thrown together with a couple phone calls and a couple emails. It did cause me way to much stress when the cross broke before we were supposed to go the nursing home. I tried Brandens different tools but I split a couple pieces of wood and then I resorted to the ever so faithful DUCT TAPE...this stuff never fails! I Love it!

Weakness Incarnate

2010-04-27T13:27:00.001-07:00

We carry the treasure of grace in a very weak vessel (2 Cor 4:7), that could shatter when we least expect it. "How many enemies are trying to snatch this treasure from us? Within us, there are the passions we have not sufficiently mastered; outside, the spirit of darkness; around us, a corrupt world. A single inopportune occasion is enough to destroy us. A single glance deprived David of the Lord's love. A Delilah can destroy even a Samson. The holiest pillars have fallen after struggling for many years against violent temptations. When we travel the road of virtue one day does not guarantee the next. (Alexander De Rouville)

These are some lines from a book I am reading that I just fell in love with when reading them. They spoke to my heart and I thought they may speak to yours.

Vegetable Garden

2010-04-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

We planted our first garden! It was one of the things I wanted to learn how to do this year and wow is there a lot to learn, but it is such a beautiful thing to do and really brings me closer to God and the beauty of his creations. To have the kids watch little seeds pop up out of the ground and form a plant is really neat. We used some plants and some seeds. We planted all organic fruits and veggies. In the pots we have blueberry bushes. It is amazing to me to watch these plants grow and to know that each one has an optimal way to grow for instance blueberries do the best in acidic soil and once you improve their soil quality the fruits multiply. It is very much like all of our souls and how different each of our paths to holiness is and each one of us has a different kind of soil that is optimal and when we are nurturing and tending to the soil we can to produce great fruits. Another amazing thing with gardening is pruning wow wow wow it is just like you read in the Gospels to get rid of the bad and prune is only to bring more goodness. Initially the pruning makes some of the plants look weak and bear, but after pruning the dead stuff off the plant becomes so much stronger and so much more beautiful none of the nutrients are being wasted any longer! The last little gardening thing is my husband is the best! He helped do most of the work as I nursed, made lemonade, made lunch, changed diapers etc... Tristan and Branden were a great little team and because of them we have a beautiful garden.

No Measuring In Love

2010-04-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago I was kissing the kids goodnight and doing the normal talk to them tell them I love them. I normally tell each of them how awesome they are and why they are awesome maybe in a prayer form thanking God for them or just simply telling them. On this particular night I went to Gavin first and told him he was the best boy in the world and he was my favorite in the entire world more special to me than anything. I then stopped in my tracks and thought if I told Gavin this then how could I tell Tristan the very same thing although it was all true once again he is the best boy in the world and he is my favorite in the entire world and more special to me than anything and the same goes for Finn and sweet Annaliese. It became so clear to me that this is how Gods love works. We are each his favorite and he loves us fully 100% completely and we each are the most special to him. Before having multiple children I knew it, but I had never experienced or felt it and in this moment I felt in and the Holy Spirit let me know it. He made it so clear to me that there is no measuring spoon or equality in love from God. He does not choose to love one soul more than another we are loved to the amount that is perfect for each of us. Just as a handicapped child might need more years and more intensive tending to does not mean they are loved more by a mother, just differently. Each of us is so unique and God loves us so uniquely and perfectly. God does not divide out his love into equal parts. We try to imagine God in our human capacity and understand his love within our human capacity, but with love 1+1 doesn't = 2 only when we go beyond the binds of our humanness and allow God to love us the way he wants in whatever capacity that may be only then will we begin to understand that we can't look at our neighbor who seems so blessed or look at our other neighbor who seems to have a huge cross to bear and it doesn't seem to get better. Don't look beyond yourself just allow God to love you uniquely and perfectly and you will bloom wherever he plants you in the good times and in the hard times. God loves you the most and thinks you truly are the best and his favorite! The more we allow God to love us and the more we respond to his love the more we will begin to see the many times he is loving us from the big to the very small blessings happening each and every moment of our lives.

Synchronized Pooping

2010-03-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

I came up with a new sport at the Olympics...Synchronized Pooping. My children will win...they are the best Synchronized poopers in the world! It really is amazing that they all seem to poop at the same times every day. Yes I did say same timeS (plural) because I do have some super poopers that poop several times a day! I put both diaper dudes on the floor to change them end up changing one and hear MOM MOM I need you to wipe me and I run off to one bathroom and wipe one bootie and then to another bathroom and wipe another bootie. Yes this does happen almost every day! Then I return to change the other diaper. I am telling you there will be no better Synchronized Poopers! We are raising them right here in our home!

Paper Chain

2010-03-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

So we also made a paper chain counting down the days until Easter. The chain is totally demolished at this point, but I think we had it until we were at day 15 which is great! I got very eager at the beginning of making it and started by putting bible versus on each sheet. I made it to day 5 when Fussy Finn whom I had moved around in several different positions and was still screaming in the ergo carrier on my back point, Gavin was eating the markers and Tristan was well lets just say very stapler happy with everything around and on him! Water toppled on top of many of the slips of paper and I had to cut more and they had to decorate more. Gavin decorated his with the peanut butter that should have gone into his mouth and there was probably a little snot decorating going on as well. What a beautiful chain it was peanut butter, snot and all and I thought the thing would never break with the 1000 staples that held it together, but it did not stand the test of time in our home.

Stations of the Cross Activity

2010-03-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

Grandma sent a baggie full of 14 items for the kids. Each station has an item that corresponds to it so when we read the station they find the item. Such a fun activity and I put pictures of the items because it is super easy to get together. Gavin (2) even has fun with it and understands. I heard him saying as he opened the bible the other day Jesus fall and Jesus die first time. My big kids are playing stations of the cross right now with their items. It is kind of cool that they take their bags and play stations of the cross together. Tristan knows all of them.
First Station - Jesus is condemned to death - rope
Second Station - Jesus takes his cross - Popsicle stick cross
Third Station - Jesus falls for the first time -bandaid
Fourth Station - Jesus meets his mother -small statue of Mary
Fifth Station - Simon helps Jesus carry his cross - red heart
Sixth Station - Veronica wipes Jesus' face - cloth with image of Christ
Seventh Station - Jesus falls the second time - bandaid
Eighth Station - Jesus meets the weeping women - tissue
Ninth Station - Jesus falls for the third time - bandaid
Tenth Station - Jesus' clothes are taken away - purple cloth
Eleventh Station - Jesus is nailed to the cross - large nail
Twelfth Station - Jesus dies on the cross - small crucifix and plastic spear
Thirteenth Station - Jesus is taken down from the cross - Pieta Holy Card
Fourteenth Station - Jesus is put in the tomb - stone

Lent

2010-03-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

This is one activity we have done this lent.
The Family Altar:
I let them design it, but gave advice here and there. We used things that we had in our home and yes it does look kid created and yes it is in our living room! I had to let go of that whole thing especially when we were having people over to our house. Over a two week period of time we normally have a lot of traffic in and out because we have lots of people over and that is just how it is neighbors and friends in and out all the time, but during lent we had more new people come over than normal because of Bobby's birthday party and bunco that I hosted. I was really torn with whether or not I should take down the altar for the different events and have my house look prettier but I then realized by doing so I would teach my children vanity and in-authenticity. We could have our altar proudly displayed for some and then we could hide it away for others or we could share it with everyone. I chose share it with everyone and we are we share it with everyone who walks through our door. Many of which had no idea why we put the altar together or what the stations of the cross are. It has been a beautiful way to reach people and teach people about living as a domestic church. Okay so we started and of course the kids ran...sometimes I think they have no other speed especially the boys the only speed they have is run even when they are going four steps away. So they run away and come back with a bright multi colored and flowered comforter as the cloth to lay on the table. So yes it was super thick and so inappropriate for an altar, so I redirected them and said get a sheet that is plain and they came back with the one seen in the pic. They then proceeded to get their Mexican candles that we bought in Kroger one day on a whim. I never buy my kids anything as we go around stores for several reasons 1. They don't need it 2. They can't have everything they want 3. They need to be told no often 4. We don't have the money It is cool how the fourth reason allows the others to happen. It really is a blessing not to be able to get them everything and to not have enough money for everything. Materialism paralyzes the spirit. We want free little spirits we don't want spirits bound to a bunch of crap! BUT one day in Kroger shortly after Gavins long awaited talking we walked past the Mexican candles and in some adorable mumbled way he said what only I as his mother could make out to be Jesus! HE SAID JESUS! Any person walking by would have thought he said Ja Ja or some other meaningless sound, but I knew it definitely was Jesus so I said with excitement oh honey do you want Jesus well you can have Jesus and then of course Annaliese wanted Mary and Tristan wanted Jesus and there we go to pay for our Mexican candles. The kids are still to this day so proud of those candles. So Mexican Candles, a family bible, family rosaries, a cross, st. michael the arc angel, mary, stations of the cross, our bean jar, holy water and rice bowl box we are collecting money in.

Beanie the Snowman

2010-03-01T07:03:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics of us with the last little dusting we had. You can tell by the grassy muddy snowman there wasn't much snow, but we made him and left no snow behind. Yes Annaliese is out there in a skirt with no tights and no jacket. I had gotten her dressed and she went in and changed. We had fun making beanie. Gavin loves hats, actually he just loves putting everything on his head...everything. I took a picture of Finnian on my back to show he goes everywhere and does everything even playing in the snow he just does it all on my back. He loves being in the ergo carrier!

Healthy, Yummy Chocolate Mousse made with Avocados

2010-02-26T18:37:00.000-08:00

These recipes are gluten and casein free and are made with fresh raw foods so they have the greatest most available nutrients for your body. The recipes are from a book by Jennifer Cornbleet. The pics are from the first time I gave it to them. They were a little unsure of it at first.

This mousse my kids prefer frozen into fudge popsicles or eaten in scoops as if it were ice cream. Branden likes it in the shortbread crust recipe below and frozen. It is a great way to get avocados in your children and mine love it for dessert. Branden does not like avocados at all! He didn't believe me when I told him it was made with avocados. I use organic cocoa powder rather than carob. I did use pure vanilla extract in ours. To make fudge popsicles use wooden popsicle sticks and popsicle molders that can be bought at walmart you can make all kinds of cheap healthy treats in those. I have some more recipes I have tried lately that I will post later.
Chocolate Mousse
Yield: 2 cups, 4-6 servings

No one will know that avocado replaces butter, cream, and eggs in this silky mousse.

1/2 cup pitted medjool dates, soaked (I buy my dates in a big bag from Cosco without the sulfur dioxide, they are not mejool dates)
1/2 cup pure maple syrup or agave nectar (I use organic Agave from Cosco if you use syrup try to use Grade B maple syrup-it has more nutrients than grade A and make sure it is pure maple syrup. I use grade A for pancakes and waffles because it tastes better than grade B)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
1 1/2 cups mashed avocado (3 avocados)
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa or carob powder
1/2 cup water

Place the dates, maple syrup, and optional vanilla in a food processor fitted with the S blade and process until smooth. Add the avocado and cocoa powder and process until creamy. Stop occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Add the water and process briefly. Stored in a sealed container, Chocolate Mousse will keep for three days in the refrigerator or two weeks in the freezer. Serve chilled or at room temperature.

Short Bread Crust
Yield: 2 1/2 cups (enough for one 9-inch pie or tart)

1 cup unsweetened shredded dried coconut
1 cup raw walnuts
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 pitted medjool dates

Place the coconut, walnuts, and salt in a food processor fitted with the S blade. Process until finely ground. Add the dates and process until the mixture begins to stick together. Don’t overprocess.

Stored in a sealed container, Shortbread Crust will keep for 1 month in the refrigerator or for 3 months in the freezer. The crust doesn’t need to be thawed before using.

2010-02-26T18:01:00.000-08:00

The Domestic Monastery

2010-02-25T12:02:00.000-08:00

Written by: Ron Rolheiser OMI January 7, 2001

Carlo Carretto, one of the leading spiritual writers of the past half-century, lived for more than a dozen years as a hermit in the Sahara desert. Alone, with only the Blessed Sacrament for company milking a goat for his food, and translating the bible into the local Bedouin language, he prayed for long hours by himself. Returning to Italy one day to visit his mother, he came to a startling realization: His mother, who for more than thirty years of her life had been so busy raising a family that she scarcely ever had a private minute for herself, was more contemplative than he was.

Carretto, though, was careful to draw the right lesson from this. What this taught was not that there was anything wrong with what he had been doing in living as a hermit. The lesson was rather that there was something wonderfully right about what his mother had been doing all these years as she lived the interrupted life amidst the noise and incessant demands of small children. He had been in a monastery, but so had she.

What is a monastery? A monastery is not so much a place set apart for monks and nuns as it is a place set apart (period). It is also a place to learn the value of powerlessness and a place to learn that time is not ours, but God's.

Our home and our duties can, just like a monastery, teach us those things. John of the Cross once described the inner essence of monasticism in these words: "But they, O my God and my life, will see and experience your mild touch, who withdraw from the world and become mild, bringing the mild into harmony with the mild, thus enabling themselves to experience and enjoy you." What John suggests here is that two elements make for a monastery: withdrawal from the world and bringing oneself into harmony with the mild.

Although he was speaking about the vocation of monastic monks and nuns, who physically withdraw from the world, the principle is equally valid for those of us who cannot go off to monasteries and become monks and nuns. Certain vocations offer the same kind of opportunity for contemplation. They too provide a desert for reflection.

For example, the mother who stays home with small children experiences a very real withdrawal from the world. Her existence is definitely monastic. Her tasks and preoccupations remove her from the centres of power and social importance. And she feels it. Moreover her sustained contact with young children (the mildest of the mild) gives her a privileged opportunity to be in harmony with the mild, that is, to attune herself to the powerlessness rather than to the powerful.

Moreover, the demands of young children also provide her with what St. Bernard, one of the great architects of monasticism, called the "monastic bell". All monasteries have a bell. Bernard, in writing his rules for monasticism, told his monks that whenever the monastic bell rang, they were to drop whatever they were doing and go immediately to the particular activity (prayer, meals, work, study, sleep) to which the bell was summoning them. He was adamant that they respond immediately, stating that if they were writing a letter they were to stop in mid-sentence when the bell rang. The idea in his mind was that when the bell called, it called you to the next task and you were to respond immediately, not because you want to, but because it's time for that task and time isn't your time, it's God's time. For him, the monastic bell was intended as a discipline to stretch the heart by always taking you beyond your own agenda to God's agenda.

Hence, a mother raising children, perhaps in a more privileged way even than a professional contemplative, is forced, almost against her will, to constantly stretch her heart. For years, while raising children, her time is never her own, her own needs have to be kept in second place, and every time she turns around a hand is reaching out and demanding something. She hears the monastic bell many times during the day and she has to drop things in mid-sentence and respond, not because she wants to, but because it's time for that activity and time isn't her time, but God's time. The rest of us experience the monastic bell each morning when our alarm clock rings and we get out of bed and ready ourselves for the day, not because we want to, but because it's time.

The principles of monasticism are time-tested, saint-sanctioned, and altogether-trustworthy. But there are different kinds of monasteries, different ways of putting ourselves into harmony with the mild, and different kinds of monastic bells. Response to duty can monastic prayer, a needy hand can be a monastic bell, and working without status and power can constitute a withdrawal into a monastery where God can meet us. The domestic can be the monastic.

MY DOMESTIC BELL IS A RINGIN...GOTTA GO BE FAITHFUL

Tristan and Basketball

2010-02-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

Tristan is well into his first season of basketball and having a lot of fun.

Tree of Grace a yearly tradition

2010-02-23T06:27:00.000-08:00

Tree of Grace: This was the greatest success this past Advent. Yes we did get a late start and yes this is a late post, but it turned out so beautiful and will be a yearly tradition thanks to the idea from the Czarka family. On Christmas Eve we all gathered around and we explained to the kids this tree is to give away and all the sacrifices and prayers on this tree are to go to someone who needs some love so without hesitation Tristan said this tree needs to go to Ms. Sue because she doesn't have a mommy, a daddy, a brother, a sister, a son or a daughter. She doesn't have anybody she must be sad and need some love. So without hesitation we said you are so right Tristan that is who this Tree of Grace is for. Ms. Sue is a housebound lady that lives three doors down. We have adopted her and make her special treats and visit her. We have only known her for a few months, but the kids bring such delight and happiness to her. So here is the letter below and we are doing something similar for Lent that I will explain in another post later. This was awesome! When we took the tree to her on Christmas day late in the evening at 6pm. She came to the door with a big smile on her face just at the sight of the kids and then as she read the letter she was so moved and said she will have the tree as long as she lives and have it up all year. How cool a little reminder of Gods great love for her always to motivate her in her solitude. This is the letter we gave her.

Merry Christmas!

Dear Ms. Sue this tree is for you! It is filled with lots of love and grace too! We have spent the past four weeks of Advent decorating this tree with ornaments. This tree is very special because it is not decorated in just one day, but over time. We only put an ornament on when we have said a prayer or made a sacrifice (listening to mom and dad, not hitting brothers and sisters, sharing etc…). When we do these little acts of love we get to put one ornament on the tree and the tree then becomes one big prayer filled with grace that we give to you. There is only one recipient each year for the tree of grace and we prayed about it and Tristan (our five year old boy) said he thinks this tree should go to Ms. Sue. He thought it would make you happy and we hope that it does, but know that this tree is more than what meets the eye because it is more than just a tree and ornaments it is a tree of grace filled with grace for you! This is our gift to you. The tree will eventually some day be thrown away, but the grace and the prayer that we give to you in this tree will never pass! God Bless You and We Hope that you have a Merry Christmas! We also made homemade cinnamon rolls. We started at 5:30am this morning making the dough! They are yummy yummy!

Love,
The O’Neils
Branden, Lauri, Tristan, Annaliese, Gavin, Finnian

The Invisible Woman

2010-02-21T10:40:00.001-08:00

This is so great for us moms! My sister Lindsey sent me a card that said ....Because God Sees and there is a cathedral pictured on the front and you open it up and it says "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees" Nicole Johnson. Watch the u-tube video it is a wonderful reminder for me. It is a quote that is going to be posted on our bathroom mirror.

Visit with Lindsey

2010-02-19T12:42:00.001-08:00

So looking back because I never posted these pictures and I know when Lindsey looks on here she would love to see them. Aunt Lindsey is so loved by the kids. Tristan thinks Lindsey lives on an airplane and has her own airplane because that is where we always pick her up and drop her off. It is so cute. A plane will pass through the sky and he will say is that Lindsey's airplane. They love love love Lindsey even though we don't see her often because she is away doing what God has called her to do. It is amazing how praying for someone like Lindsey being away brings such a closeness to the heart and I definitely think this is a reason the kids love Lindsey so because they pray for her. Lindsey is so creative in the things she will gift the kids with because of her poverty she doesn't have anything but she always finds things and they are always perfect because they are simple! Although this past trip she really out did herself. Someone gave her money with the specific intention of buying gifts on her trip to Jerusalem and whenever money is given it is to be used in the manner in which the donor requests with the permission of her directors. So she was given $100 and she bought gifts for all of the kids and for us. She gave Annaliese a lamb from Jerusalem that she loves, it is one her "snuggle bugs". Tristan got a wooden plaque with the stations of the cross on it! He LOVES the stations of the cross and has since he was two. He always wants to pray them and can lead you in them. He has a great love for the stations. We love Lindsey so much and miss her lots, but are proud of her and her fidelity to her Consecrated life.

Don't Want to Miss a Moment

2010-02-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

Okay so I think officially I am going to home school and the cherry that topped it off was, I don't want to miss a moment. Everyone you meet that has grown children says it flies by and wishes they could go back to this day that I am presently in so I want to live it up and not miss a moment. A lady saw us walking into the Y a couple of weeks ago and she pulled me aside and told me to look at my kids every day for a few minutes each not thinking about if they have brushed their teeth or made their bed or if they have talked back. It was just what the Holy Spirit Ordered! I thought this was such simple advice, but really wonderful and I took it and use it daily. It makes you really appreciate these little souls and in the chaos of the days not letting it slip by and taking a moment to realize the gift God has given you. It is a gift that can be unwrapped every day so take those few moments and unwrap the gift because every day it is wrapped beautifully again waiting for you to unwrap it again and again and again. How beautiful life is and how wonderful our vocation as moms.

As I am typing I realize why I don't normally blog when the kids are awake. I just got frustrated at my children as I am writing a blog about spending time with them...how contrary is that. I am split right now btwn what I am supposed to be doing and what i am not supposed to be doing. I totally want to be at the computer right now because it is definitely more appealing to me at the moment. More appealing than being pulled out of my selfishness at every moment in raising my children, but the obvious answer is get up and leave the computer behind leave the soulless useless thing that will not come with me to heaven behind and take up my vocation of motherhood. Got to go my cross is calling and if I stay to long my will power will get weaker.

Snow Days

2010-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

Okay so it is a big deal to get snow that sticks and that is thick enough to be able to go sledding. We had so much fun! We borrowed a big tube because supposedly that's the way you do it in TN. It was fun! Tristan had his little sled as well that he got for Christmas from my mom and dad. I wanted to go again and again and again. I think I had just as much fun as the kids. I think the older I get (28) the more fun it is to have fun and act like a kid again. I love it! The Ehrhardts came with us and we all had so much fun! We came home from sledding and had our Sunday night game night with the kiddos. This is Tristans favorite night of the week. If you are wondering where Finnian is he was in a stroller behind us being the sweetest little pumpkin ever. I would wear him on my back when I wasn't going down the hill.

Baby Katie is in Heaven

2010-02-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is an email I received today.

Dear Friends,
>
> From Fr. Ryan: "Thank you for all of your prayers. Unfortunately,
> I'm sending you the sad news that Hannah did have the abortion. She
> is not doing well. Please pray for Hannah and all involved, they are
> all hurting very much. Thanks, Fr. Ryan."
>
> I'm so sorry to have to pass this news on to all of you. There is no
> way I can express in an e-mail the sadness in my heart for Hannah and
> her family, or for Fr. Ryan who has been such a faithful and
> courageous priest in the face of terrible spiritual warfare. His
> trust in God's mercy has been incredible, and he is a witness to all
> of us of the power of spiritual, priestly fatherhood that loves to the
> extreme. Please continue to pray for him, as he will continue to
> minister to Hannah in the coming months and years.
>
> At a time like this it would be easy to think that God has not
> answered our prayers or to ask where the Lord was in all of this. To
> attempt an explanation for the dichotomy of good and evil is beyond my
> ability, but I feel that we have all been part of an extraordinary
> movement of grace in the last few days.
>
> On Thursday morning, Fr. Ryan called me asking for prayers for
> Hannah, along with the request to pass the prayer intention along. I
> passed the request on...and you responded with your own prayer and by
> asking those you knew to pray as well. All told, religious sisters in
> about 15 convents in several states and two countries, seminarians in
> 3 seminaries, consecrated women in the US, Italy, and England,
> priests, and over 1000 lay people have been lifting Hannah up in
> prayer. WE ARE CATHOLIC!!! In His mercy, God has united us from our
> different vocations and locations to pray for one of His children in
> her hour of need.
>
> Within one hour of the first e-mail being sent, four people wrote to
> me offering to adopt the child. It was not long before others echoed
> that offer. A woman offered her home as a safehaven for Hannah,
> should she need a place to stay. Others sent me information on
> counseling services and adoption agencies. Women who have had
> abortions offered to speak to Hannah, as did women who had seriously
> contemplated abortion during their pregnancies. All without knowing
> Hannah or anything about her. In a time of trial and crisis, God
> called for generosity and from your hearts you gave, from your hearts
> you responded in ways that could never be expected.
>
> Most of all, the grace of your prayers has been felt and God has used
> this as a moment to teach us all. A friend wrote to me: "Through
> praying for her I can say honestly that I love her, without knowing
> anything about her other than the painful situation she has found
> herself in. I hate the idea of her aborting this baby and then
> suffering for it the rest of her life. I want nothing more than to
> spare her that grief." In the face of hatred and death, God has
> called us to love. Abortion is hatred and it is hatred that leads to
> death. In spite of this, love has grown through the grace of prayer.
> The prayer has been constant and has come from all sorts. I received
> an e-mail that said simply "I have been praying since I opened my eyes
> this morning". From a 5 year-old in Nashville, Hannah's baby received
> a name. Knowing only Hannah's name was not enough for him, he wanted
> to know what the baby was called. Since no one had a name, he called
> her Katie. So Baby Katie became not a theory, but a real person in
> his eyes. On Monday afternoon, I began asking the children in
> religious ed here at St. Pius to pray for Hannah. A third grader who
> comes for class on Tuesday told me that her friend, who comes for
> class on Mondays, had sent her an e-mail after coming home on Monday
> telling her to pray for Hannah. THIRD GRADE!!!!!! A first grader
> asked why we were praying for Hannah, to which her classmate
> responded: "It doesn't matter why we're praying. God knows, and He'll
> take care of Hannah."
>
> I hope that this experience of prayer continues to bear fruit. More
> than that, this experience of prayer must not end here. Young Hannah
> still needs prayer and healing. There are thousands of Hannahs in our
> country and in our world, children living in fear and hopelessness.
> No one, at 15, should have to experience what Hannah is now enduring.
> This should convince us more than ever that abortion is the worst
> option available and that women deserve better. This should be a call
> to us to respond with generosity to those who find themselves in
> crisis, to those who find themselves alone. Jesus calls us to be
> instruments of His mercy and to bring the light of His love to the
> darkness and hopelessness of the culture of death. Today is a sad day
> because one life is ended, and another wounded, scarred and mourning.
> Today is a sad day because we all share in this loss and in this
> wound. In prayer, we have come to love Hannah and we are helpless as
> our sister, our daughter, suffers. But God is still at work and His
> project is not yet complete. He has called us together in prayer and
> He has called out of us a generosity that goes beyond our own desires
> and seeks the good of another for the glory of God. We can take great
> comfort in the promise God has given, that love always triumphs, that
> life is always victorious over death, that the light continues to
> shine in the darkness.
>
> Please pray for Hannah's healing. Let her broken heart be restored,
> Lord! Pray for her parents, for Tom and his parents...they suffer,
> too! Pray for Fr. Ryan, who is their father, friend, shepherd and
> priest. May he receive the grace he needs to protect them and bring
> them healing. May God work in his heart and words so that they see in
> him, not Fr. Ryan, but the face of Christ turning his merciful gaze on
> them.
>
> Peace,
>
> Fr. Sam

What makes me unique to my hubby

2010-02-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

I was in Mass a couple weeks ago when I began thinking about Father Bala and his vocation as a priest and how he can persevere in his vocation and during consecration it occurred to me that the mass makes him unique in his vocation. The reason that most Priests within Religious Orders have to celebrate mass every day is for their perseverance so they can experience that uniqueness that makes them set apart from other men and makes their vocation special. This is what makes him different from another man and what makes him unique to the Church, his bride. It then lead me to thinking about Branden and what makes us so unique as spouses and that is the intimacy we share with the gift of sex. The thing that makes us so unique in marriage is being intimate with our spouse and that is the very thing that is attacked the most with in marriages. This is a great means for perseverance when united with God for union and pro-creation. I now try to think about it daily so I can overcome the many distractions and temptations to avoid the intimacy with my husband. Yes I used the word avoid because so often I would try to avoid, most of the time because I am just so darn tired by the end of the day. So I now try to not avoid and take advantage of that special part of our marriage that makes me unique to Branden!

Pray for baby Katie

2010-02-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

So we have been getting prayer requests for a young woman and young man in high school that conceived a precious little baby. The abortion is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I told Tristan (5yrs) what was going to be happening tomorrow and of course at 5 he is a soldier. He has an amazing concept of spiritual battle and loves it. He will go around "shooting fires out of his heart" to get the demons by praying or making a sacrifice. So as I tell him this and tears well up in my eyes as I tell him about this little baby and how we need to pray to protect this little baby he asked well what is her name. I thought he was talking about the mom so I told him it is Hannah and he said no the baby. I said well the baby does not have a name yet and he said the baby needs a name. I said we don't know if it is a boy or girl. Well he wanted to name the baby so he said her name is baby katie. We will pray for baby katie. So please please please pray for baby Katie that her life be saved and that her mothers decision to have an abortion will be changed.

Another little note on abortion that I will try and find a picture of is back when we were participating in the 40 days for life we would go to the abortion clinic and pray every Sunday with the kids. One week when we were there to pray the lady who runs the pregnancy center down the street that fights to save babies lives was there praying and had some flags. She explained to the kids the different meanings of the flags and they loved it. Tristan, Annaliese and Gavin marched up and down with their flags and then yes of course these flags became swords because that is way of boys. While we were there Finnian needed to eat so I crossed the street and sat on some steps to feed Finnian and watched Branden and the kids waving their flags along with three other ladies praying and then I began to hear them all singing Yes Jesus Loves Me Yes Jesus Loves Me Yes Jesus Loves for the bible tells me so over and over. My eyes welled up with tears and then I just began to cry. It was such a beautiful image to behold I just know the angels were singing with them.

Febrile Seizure

2009-12-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

So Gavin gave us a scare on Sunday as we were leaving church he had a seizure caused by a fever. From what I understand it happens when a fever jumps quickly. Gavin is totally fine now, but it certainly was a scary experience. During the seizure and after during the brains recovery I was just hoping he would start crying or screaming or doing the ever so annoying Gavin squawk. The squawk would have been music to my ears at that point. It took a couple of hours for Gavin to return to normal Gavin. We spent the day at the hospital investigating the cause of the fever and it turned out to be just a cold. When things like this happen to your children it makes you appreciate them and their health so much more. There are people who have chronically ill children who deal with this stuff on a daily basis. I can't imagine. To see your child go through something like this that is so out of your control it really gives you a great reminder that you really are not in control! I like to think I am many times, but things like this always put me in my place and really humble me and give me the opportunity to be so grateful for the many things God has given me. Sweet Gavin just has a cough leftover from the cold he had and the others have been sick as well. I think we are finally better. No fevers! Gavin has broken several things, pooped on the floor two times (going back to duct tape and diapers), squawked a lot, got in a couple of fights and told me ugh huh and nuh ugh about 1000 times. So he is definitely back to normal Gavin and now as for the future we have to watch his temps when he gets sick in order to try and keep him from having any more seizures in his toddler years. Thanks to Bobby and Katherine for their help with Tristan and Annaliese. I don't know what we would do without them here! We love you guys!

If Your Not Happy Change Your Expectations!

2009-12-15T20:02:00.001-08:00

I love the quote above and remind myself of it often because with four young children nothing ever goes as expected so I am constantly fighting myself and find myself trying to become okay with the chaos life brings with four young children. It seems the more I plan and the more I try to have things in order the more often I have to let go of how I expected things to be! I hear of great traditions families lived or are living during these beautiful times of the year and have such great anticipation at starting them with our children. I felt as though I was fighting my way through most of them and when I found myself sitting on children while we were trying to complete prayers and stories I realized I needed to let go and we can do bits and pieces here and there and over the years we will eventually complete the task in full. It is not about the things as much as it is about the spirit in which we do them. So I would rather do a little with a lot of love rather than do a lot with little love! So here is where we are at so far.
Okay so here are the things we have accomplished so far and will continue to try and do in the future with our children in these precious days before Christmas...
1. Jesse Tree (partial success with this one) We have made one homemade ornament at this point (so in 24 years we will have a complete set at this rate!) and even had a Jesse tree party, but we just got the tree to put the ornaments on a couple of days ago because I never had an opportunity to go to the store after forgetting the one time I was there with the kiddos.
2. Christmas Tree Filled with Grace: The tree for this is still in the box and was only bought a couple of days ago for the same reason as above and since I have had it all of the kids have been super sick. We have the ornaments and the tree. The idea with this is to have a small (ours is 2ft) Christmas tree and small little ornaments (ours are from dollar store) every time you make a sacrifice or help someone out you put an ornament on the tree. It becomes a tree filled with little acts of love and grace. A couple of days before Christmas you pray about who to send the tree to and all of the prayers it contains and then you send it.

3. Advent Storybooks: We are reading Jothams Journey and there is a chapter for each day of advent. There are also two other books Bartholomew Passage and Tabitha's Travels. We are on Tuesday of the second week of Advent and we should be on Tuesday of the third week of Advent. We may finish in January, but no big deal rubbing backs of sick children and making tea takes priority over this wonderful advent tradition.

4. Christmas Basket Program: This is one of my favorites. This afternoon we began the first part of the Christmas basket by having the kids pick three of their toys to give to the Christmas Basket program. This is one of the greatest traditions. Today as I went with Annaliese to look at her dress up stuff I was so impressed with her attitude of giving. We pulled out her dress up stuff and anything she had two of we pulled out which was almost everything. We started with shoes and she found a perfect pair out of the four pairs she had and then she said we needed a crown so she picked one of the two and it was a little harder because she now only has one then she said a little girl needed a balleration (a leotard) I was so surprised she even mentioned this because these along with her princess dresses are her favorites. I then prompted that maybe a little girl who doesn't have dress up stuff may need a princess dress and she said well no this one fits me and this one fits me. She has three princess dresses and she does love all of them very very much. She went on to tell me because this fits me it won't fit anyone else. We came to the point where I said okay Annaliese but I know you could make God happy and some little girl very happy and she smiled and said okay I think this one will be perfect. (She put my favorite dress in the pile of stuff...ouch that hurts now I have to detach from the adorable dress that I love on Annaliese) It is funny how sometimes you can be more attached to your kids stuff than they are. She put the whole outfit together, but it was missing a necklace and a bracelet and she got it all and put it in a bag and said this is perfect! How adorable and what a loving/giving spirit sweet Annaliese has. No second thoughts no regrets it was done and it is as if it is not hers any longer. Tristan on the other hand was actually more reluctant than Annaliese to let go of his stuff. The things they have to pick have to mean something to them, it has to bring a little bit of sacrifice and detachment otherwise it would just be for the others and not for their formation as well. So Tristan got rid of some of his animals, but boy did it take him a long time. You saw his interior struggle as he would go through all of them and then he decided to give something pretty special to him, his marble run. I suggested it to him and he protested at first, but then was so proud of himself and could not wait for Branden to come home to show him what he was giving to some kid who does not have anything.
This is just the beginning of the Christmas Basket. Hopefully tomorrow we will go and wrap the presents and Thursday we will go deliver the nursing home bags and sing Christmas carols at the nursing home. Friday is sorting night and pizza and then Saturday we will deliver a box or two to a family filled with food and toys. I love our church!

5. The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe: Mexican Fiesta and we went to the Hispanic celebration at our church. There were only about ten white people there and we were 6 out of the ten. What a neat experience and to have mass in spanish, participate in the parade in the streets of downtown Franklin and then end with a Mexican fiesta with dancing. I love our church

6. St. Lucy Feast day went totally different than expected we ended up at the hospital with Gavin and had sick children all day...nothing that i had planned happened that day!

7. After dropping off the toys at church for the Christmas basket (this was tonight) we go to see Christmas lights and stop to get hot chocolate and a donut that we eat in the car while driving around. When we see a snowman we sing frosty, when we see a reindeer we sing rudolph etc... Super fun times

8. Advent Calendar - Every morning the kids open up the doors on our Advent calendar and hang up the pieces

9. Advent Wreath - Made it one week into Advent with extra tree trimmings I found at home depot for free! We got the super cheap Christmas tree that fit into the budget but doesn't smell beautiful so we are getting the expensive Christmas tree smell by picking up the free scraps and using them as decorations throughout the house! We light the candles at dinner time, but have not accomplished the nightly prayers and scripture passages.

So as you can see we are trying and things are most definitely not perfect and they probably never will be! I hate the thought of that, but I must accept it and know that our disaster is beautiful to God!

Adventure Day with Daddy

2009-12-14T07:51:00.001-08:00

Branden is so wonderful. He took off a day of work to take the three big kids out on an adventure while I organized our house and set up systems to keep it clean. What a blessing this day was for me! He left at 9am starting by going to the music show at Whole Foods that the kids love and then they continued on their journey to go hiking and find waterfalls. The kids had a blast and I set up an amazing system that is working for me. I have so much trouble being organized and keeping our house clean, but always had so many great ideas, but the problem was I never could get ahead. This gave the opportunity to get ahead and implement the ideas. There is lots of stuff labeled in our house now and I work using a schedule and I have check lists for everything. Is it perfect...of course not, what is! I actually realized I have never implemented anything like this because it bothers me so much when the system is broken...and this happens every day all day! AHHHH I totally have to let go, but in the end it obviously helps so much to have the structure especially with four young children. There are lots of hands touching lots of things and things are never perfect!

Fall Pictures

2009-12-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some fall pictures of the kids. We went to Leipers fork with Katherine, Ava and little Lucas and took pictures of the kids with the awesome camera the Barrett family gave to us! We love it. I think in the past five years and nine months we have been married we have only gotten our picture professionally taken one time. It costs so much money so we do it on our own and they always turn out great especially now that we have a camera that takes pictures so quickly.

Nothing is created to live for itself...even FLIES!

2009-12-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

So one of the latest and greatest things we have dealt with in the past month was an invasion of flies into our home! So here is the story. The weather was beautiful and the doors were open and evening came and there were 15 flies on the inside of the window in Gavin's room. I thought, how odd they all flocked to this one window but I got a newspaper shut the door and started swatting at the gross little things. I didn't leave the room until all 15 were dead. I then put Gavin to bed feeling completely satisfied that all of the flies were out of the room. Morning comes and in a rush I did not even think twice about the fly massacre that took place the night before. We spent the beautiful day with the doors open and night came again and lo and behold I heard flies against the window, there were 10 more gross flies in that same window. At this point I was tired and thought again, how odd that they all came to this window, but we did have the doors open all day today. I closed the door so none of them could escape and did the same thing I did the night before. I killed all 10 of them with my total count at 25! I put him to bed and went to do laundry and as I was doing the laundry it occurred to me that maybe just maybe in our house where there are two children wearing diapers and especially a boy like Gavin that poops 8 times a day, there may be a poopy diaper hiding somewhere. Now this has NEVER ever happened before in our home so this would be a very odd occurrence, but definitely a possibility! Side Note: Unpacking our Christmas decorations we got to the bottom of a box and there was a dirty pee diaper from last year that got packed away in a box of Christmas stuff...no kidding...how gross is that! So in the dark of the room I searched a bit with my nose and with my eyes as much as I could see and there was nothing to be found. Morning came and I checked again in the light of the day and no diaper was to be found, but I did hear flies in the window once again. I went to the window and there were six flies. Okay so now that is super weird the door was shut and all flies had been killed and six more appeared. I think Gavin has had at least one bath this month, he shouldn't be that stinky! Two days and 60 flies later we call our landlord to have someone come and figure out why the flies are coming into our house and how they are coming in. Our landlord finally got someone out here 9 days and 150 flies into the whole ordeal. We moved Gavin out of his room on the third day to the bottom bunk that was waiting for him in Tristan's room and we would keep the door to the fly room shut all day and then go and kill flies at night. With all of this going on I really began to dislike flies and one night after killing 20 or so I googled the purpose of flies because I honestly thought flies had no purpose but to annoy us and just be disgustingly dirty and they should not exist. Well let me tell you. I found out that many many species of birds eat flies, as do many reptiles and amphibians. Even some other insects feed on flies. Flies also assist us by speeding up decomposition. So after finding this out I realized that we do need flies and God created them for a specific purpose in which they fulfill perfectly. I realized I am created for a specific purpose as well but many times I don't fulfill it perfectly because God also gave me the freedom to choose and I can choose to do God's will or not. I am given the capacity to choose my path and a fly is not. A fly was created for a specific purpose and it completes its task because it is not given the option to love or not to love. On the other hand I am free and freely given an opportunity to make holy, good, or not so good choices and all of my choices affect those around me. My decisions can build up or hurt the body of Christ, the Church. Selfishness so often stands in my way of fulfilling the plan God has in store for me, but of course in his mercy he is constantly guiding me back and allowing me to try again and again and again. In light of the flies I also realized just how important each little insect is in making the world go round and function as God created it, we even need the flies that don't have a soul. I can't even fathom what an effect it must be to discard souls through abortion. I can't imagine how that must distort the plan of God. If flies being removed from the world makes a big impact on the food chain and decomposition and they don't even have soul then I wonder how much of an impact it makes to get rid of souls on our own terms in our time, not Gods.
Okay so what happened with the flies you are saying to yourself...well there was rotted wood in the window that allowed them to get into our house through the window in the babies room, but as to why there were so many and why they chose our home...I just don't know!

Fall Festival

2009-10-29T19:08:00.001-07:00

The pumpkin party was so much fun for all. The day was filled with Chili, hot dogs, sack races, bobbing for apples and lots of fun with friends. Sarah and Lance ate their apple hands free in about 20 seconds...it was quite impressive. Corinne took a diving leap to win the moms sack race. Branden won the dad sack race and everyone ended in a pile from tripping over one another at the end. As you can see from the pictures the pumpkin carving was pretty intense using tools and everything, but the winner of that was actually a classic little pumpkin carved by the Opilinki family. Here are some pictures from that day. In the past couple weeks we also went to a chili cook off with the Ehrhardts. We went to a couple of fall festivals with jump houses and hayrides with the Ehrhardts. We love all of the free festivals I think the Ehrhardt do too. If we are invited we are there especially if there is a meal involved. No cooking and cleaning and spending money for one meal is a MIRACLE!

Funny Comments

2009-10-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago we made dinner for another family that likes country cookin, but I don't cook this way so the food I cooked my children had never had before. Half way through dinner Annaliese said to me in the sweetest most sincere voice "Thanks mom for making this yukky dinner." Branden and I just laughed!
When I was putting her to bed the same night she had scraped her foot and had a little piece of skin hanging off and she looked down and saw the flap of skin and said "So mom are peoples made of paper on the inside."
Another cute conversation btwn Tristan and Annaliese was about Gold Fish and what they are made of. The conclusion is that they are made of Gold, but they are not real fish.

The Ice Box

2009-10-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the kids and I went to Kroger to pick up a few things for dinner with our neighbors last night. I have been venturing out to the grocery store with all four in tow and most times it is a bit frustrating, but always a great accomplishment. Yesterday we made it through Kroger and I was checking out with a sigh of relief and a feeling of achievement. There was only one licked apple a bunch of grapes misplaced and many things touched...so needless to say a very successful grocery trip...no major meltdowns, no broken things, not lost children. As I was checking out I heard someone behind me say "Whose kids are those!" This is not something you like to hear when you have four curious, energy filled children 4yrs old and under with you in a grocery store. So my first thought is it better not be my children, or else... and I look and see Finn starting to get a bit fussy in the buggy and Gavin still sitting in the front seat of the cart, but Annaliese and Tristan were not in site so I turn to see my two lovely darlings sitting inside the ice machines munching on some ice and laughing. Yes it was my children and the humility that had to follow the comment of "Whose kids are those, and my reply had to be they are mine! Oh the rage, the frustration the embarrassment! Immediately I draw from my emotions and and my reactions to these events are as if the kids are doing to me and on purpose. It is a very self centered way of receiving their behavior, but I think most of us do it and that is why our emotions rise up and control our actions at this point. It is a great teaching moment for proper behavior in a grocery store...who would have thought you would have to teach your children not to sit in an ice machine and eat ice! Anyways putting aside my ego and not caring about what others think of me...because it totally doesn't matter and making it a teaching moment meant removing my emotions from the situation and taking care of it right then and there. So instead of letting every emotion guide my decisions and actions and pulling them by their hair to the car Tristan and Annaliese where given a certain amount of time off of bedtime, which is a major deal at our house because we have game nights, movie nights, reading night etc...so they will miss out on some activity and hear us as we are doing the activity. Both of them realized they had done something wrong and we proceeded to our car. Everyday is filled with a certain amount of chaos and some more than others.

One other funny story from yesterday and then I have to go and do my house work! Ava was over yesterday and they were upstairs playing. Katherine and I were talking when we heard Ava kind of whimpering/crying and she comes down the stairs with shaving cream all over her head . Gavin had gotten the shaving cream out and sprayed it on Ava!

Busy Fall Weekends

2009-10-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

It seems as if Fall is filled with lots of fun and lots of things to do. Everyone is trying to get all of the outside fun in before Winter comes so there are lots of activities. This past weekend we had a birthday party at the bowling alley for Lizzie Donnelly a friend of the kids. Everyone had so much fun! Annaliese and Gavin had never bowled before. On Saturday Tristan and Branden had a father son camp out birthday party for one of Tristans best buddies Andrew. Tristan had an awesome time and so did Branden. The night was filled with a bonfire, hikes through the woods, soccer and tackle football in the dark, smores, hots dogs and so much more. Annaliese, Gavin, Finn and I went to the neighborhood picnic. Annaliese got her face painted and her and Gavin got balloon swords and hats and jumped on an inflatable at the picnic. We had a lot of fun getting to know more neighbors! Annaliese and I then proceeded to have a special night together. She said she wanted to go to the mall, dance her balleration, paint her toes and fingers, have coffee and cookies and watch a movie. Well there was no way we were going to get all of that in, but we did accomplish a few on her wish list. I have no idea where she got the mall and coffee thing. We don't shop at the mall and don't drink coffee. She is in need of some church dresses so we went to Goodwill because I have not been able to find any on Craigs list or at yard sales so we went to Goodwill and when we pulled up she said I wanted to go to the new mall not the old one! Too funny! We did find one beautiful church dress (she loves the super full dresses that are super fancy!) and she was so happy. We then came home and put the boys to bed. She helped me make cookies and then we went upstairs to watch Cinderella and as we were watching I painted her toes and fingers pink! She was in heaven!
On Sunday we went to pray at an abortion clinic with the kids as a part of the 40 days for life campaign. It is halfway done, but we plan on trying to go once a week in response to our call as parents as written in the catechism. "The family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor." 2208 Catchism.

Soccer

2009-10-12T19:51:00.001-07:00

Annaliese started her first season of soccer about two months ago and she is on the Pink Princesses. She had trouble getting into it, but now that she scored her first two goals of the season last game I think she is ready to go. Annaliese runs down the field smiling and looking to see if we are watching her. There is a huge difference between the girls and the boys. The girls whine and cry so much more that they are hot or cold, tired, hungry and thirsty! The most exciting part of the game is the snack at the end. As you can see from Gavins face he always benefits from the snacks as well! You can see in the pics below that Tristan stands behind the goal Annaliese is scoring at in order to tell her to run faster. He shares his wisdom about soccer with her and she always looks for his approval of all that she does. Tristan is an amazing soccer player. He is on the Golden Dragons this season and has two wonderful coaches. He hustles so much and is really starting to understand how to play the game by passing and playing defense. He is the youngest at 4yrs out there and is playing with six year olds this season, but he is keeping up with them. He scored this past weekend and had a couple of assists. He tries so hard and is such a great listener and an avid learner. And Finn...well he normally just sleeps!

Gavin's Second Birthday

2009-10-12T19:28:00.001-07:00

Gavin celebrated his second birthday when our families were in town. It was a great day! On his actual birthday the 8th we went to Chuck E Cheese to play some games and ride some rides with the Ehrhardts! It is hard to believe he is two. He is the funniest little guy. Well he is not little by any means at 36 pounds he has some of the largest thighs, broad shoulders and a huge rib cage for a two year old. You pick him up and it feels as if you are picking up a pile of bricks. He is our line backer! He is full of energy and lots of facial expressions. We think because he is so late to talk he has to make up for it in facial expressions! He is the messiest of any child I have ever seen he is afraid of nothing and jumps from everything even if he will land flat on his face. He loves breakfast and can eat up to six eggs if you let him and four or so serving of oatmeal and loves to drink green smoothies. He loves cherry berry bars and bananas. His favorite toy is a car and he loves Lightning McQueen. He could play outside all day and loves to get dirty. He poops about six times a day on average. He loves to squawk when he is mad, sad or happy and throws really wonderful temper tantrums that include beating his head on objects. He is the most irrational and passionate little thing. He LOVES to dance and will start dancing to any music he hears. He is attached to a paci and a pink blanket...yes it is pink and it was Annalieses and Gavin has claimed it. He is a boy who needs and loves touch and affection from everyone, but me especially. He is a mommas boy. He started jumping out of his crib and after a few hard spills we moved him to a toddler bed, but as you can see in the pics below we find him somewhere different just about every night. He has ended up sleeping on the steps in kneeling positions a couple of times at the bottom of the stairs and there are more and i wish I would have taken pics of all, but here are two of the latest ones.

Finnians Baptism

2009-10-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Finnian was baptized on October 4th at 10am in the Old Church at St. Phillips. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and one cousin were able to come from Atlanta for the big day! They drove up to spend the special day with us! As I have more children this day becomes more and more special and its not about everything being totally perfect or the pictures turning out great, but it is much deeper and goes past the exterior to a deep interior gratitude for this beautiful sacrament. Finnian's original sin has been removed and he is now sealed with an indelible spiritual mark that cannot be removed. "No sin can erase this mark, even if sin prevents Baptism from bearing the fruits of salvation." 1272 Catechism. Baptism begins new life in Christ, confirmation strengthens this life in Christ and the Eucharist nourishes it! Thanks to Kristi and Patrick Bentley for being Finns God Parents!

Wisdom from Annaliese

2009-09-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to do a quote of the day or basically anything but putting up a new post.

At breakfast this morning Gavin was sticking a spoon up his nose and trying to push oatmeal up his nose...(yes if you don't know Gavin this is a typical behavior) he is super messy and so very funny. So I said Gavin you do not stick spoons up your nose. Annaliese being the second mother of the house said "Gavin you only stick your fingers in your nose and not spoons." So very funny!

Annaliese proceeded to go upstairs to but on her leotard. She does not dance, but loves to wear leotards or pjs all day. She came down with her leotard and said can I wear my balleration (this is what she calls it for some reason) so I can look beautifee (this is another one of her words instead of beautiful she created her own word.

Big Brothers Diapers

2009-09-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

So we ran out of Finn size diapers and I was so thankful I had two in diapers for a day because that meant I did not have to run out to the store immediately with all four stinkers. The Diapers were big enough I think to be considered an outfit.

Visit from Kentucky Family

2009-09-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

We had a special four hour visit from my grandmother, two aunts, and uncle from Louisville! It was such a great treat to be able to see them, we had so much fun. I think overall they ended up driving more time than they were here so it really was a huge effort to come and see us and meet little Finn for the first time. We cooked out and just sat around and talked during the time they spent here. The kids played outside in the sprinkler and we sat on the deck until it got to hot. My dad actually played in the sprinkler with the kids and they had a blast. Thanks so much for coming!

In my dreams

2009-09-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

I am think I know why I had this dream now. I was telling a lady yesterday how much Finn reminded me of a puppy and I said he is my little puppy and then I had this dream below and no it was not a vivid dream.
I just remembered the dream I had last night when nursing Finnian and just had to share it...I guess I fell asleep while nursing as I do many nights at this point, but last night was extra special because I started dreaming and I was dreaming that there was a dog licking me and yes that instead of it being Finn nursing it was a dog and I could not get the dog to go away and I woke up suddenly all freaked out saying shoo get out of here. Gross!
The things sleep deprivation can do to you! Here is a another little recent attack sleep deprivation has made on me this past week. I went to a gas pump and put my debit card in, I pressed the grade of gas and even put the nozzle in to fill up. I heard the gas pumping and heard the click for it to be done. I quickly put the nozzle away and jumped in my car to head home. Nearly home I looked down at the gas gauge and I was still on empty! I had been riding on fumes before stopping for gas so at this point our guardian angels were pushing us along. Thank goodness for four children because we have more guardian angels helping the cause at the O'Neil house. So how can you go to a gas station and do all that I did and walk away with no gas???....I called Sams and the transaction had been aborted and the only explanation I have is that I heard the man pumping gas next to me and we started at about the same time so I guess I heard his gas running and his click at the end when his car was full and all the while I never even began pumping my own gas!

The O'Neil Crew Comes to Meet Finn

2009-09-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

The O'Neil clan came to visit us this past weekend. We missed you Braxton and Jessen! Brysen had a hockey tournament here in Nashville so the trip was a lot of fun. We were able to go and watch two hockey games. It was such a fun trip.
Aunt Peyton (their 4yr old aunt) loves playing with Annaliese and dressing up and playing dolls etc... Uncle Landon (6 yr old uncle) loves playing with Tristan. They run from the van when they arrive and play until seconds before leaving. They can't get enough of each other, they love it! With Branden being the oldest of eight the ages range from him at 27 to 4 yrs old! I am so thankful I get to be a part of the O'Neil crew!

Re-post of Poverty-Detachment in Motherhood-I erased the last one!

2009-08-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

I erased this when posting Finn's pictures! I still mess up this blogging thing! I am re-posting because a couple of people were wondering where it went to! I wrote this after several frustrating things my kids did and God helped to understand a little better my vocation as a mom.
As moms I have decided that we do live a very real poverty/detachment in a very real way each and every one of us each and every day. We live poverty/detachment on daily basis when your clothes get ruined by food, blood, throw-up (fill in your own bodily fluid here)! You cannot be attached to any of your clothes! You must have a spirit of poverty and gladly give them up for love of your children. Secondly it is lived in nicks in the hardwoods, stains on the carpet hand prints on the walls writing on furniture writing on walls writing on (you can put your own object here!) You must have a spirit of poverty to give up wearing white or allowing your children to wear white and you have to maintain a spirit of detachment with some of your children’s adorable clothing! How often does it happen that your favorite pieces or outfits get ruined? Those are the days when you have your boys dressed in their nicest outfits and a big cool hill appears in your day and you turn away for second and there are the boys rolling down the hill and of course what do they have but grass stains! AHHHHH
Onto the second point, moving away from materialistic things we live it within the confines of our day with our time. Our time is not our own. Our children’s cries and needs demand of us at moments when we are not ready or wanting to give of ourselves to someone else. The sound of the hungry or poopy or hurt baby crying and our response is our poverty/detachment lived in every second of our life. The fighting children needing guidance at such inconvenient times…it would be so much easier to just ignore!
Yes moms we do in fact live it and if you are cutting coupons or budgeting and sticking to it you live it even more. If you are trying to figure out how your baby or toddler can use fewer diapers in one day without getting a diaper rash you are living it! Hand me downs, leftover mystery meat pies and mystery meals filled with everything that will go bad in the fridge! Who would have ever thought God builds it right into our vocation. As moms we don’t have a chose as to whether or not it will be demanded of us, but we do have a chose as to how we will respond. Will we embrace it and learn to live and love it or will we fight it hard and let it make us miserable. The happiest moms I know accept and then even come to love it! So let us rise up and learn to live in it and then let us accept it and then we must come to love it!

Sweet Finnian

2009-08-28T19:50:00.001-07:00

Finnian is the sweetest of all our babes! We seriously have been blessed with our first amazingly good baby! He is so laid back and really goes with the flow of life not needing to much from anyone. He actually sometimes needs to just be sitting by himself away from the onslaught of hugs and kisses he receives all day. He has really made me fall in love with sweet little babes. I just adore him and don't want him to get a day bigger. Here are some pictures to prove he has had at least one bath in his first 22 days of life! Here are couple of other pics from tonight when we were sitting and eating yogurt and granola on the bed together...he is my little buddy!

My children's contribution to my growth in holiness!

2009-08-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2227: “Children in turn contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.”

Lord I find it so hard as a mom to stay focused on you throughout the day. I feel like there are constantly distraction thrown in my face, but then I realize that you are in those moments and those are moments filled with lots of grace. You are in the diapers the messes the temper tantrums and it is in finding you in those things that I stay united to you throughout my day. I find it so ironically comical that this is my path to heaven. I always thought it would be through some major excursion to another country doing missionary work or in martyrdom, but the more I experience life I realize this slow martyrdom is very difficult and requires constancy and little by little I achieve my goal. It is so easy to find myself slipping backwards in just a second. I find that this forced selflessness (motherhood) causes me to squirm often and want to rebel and fight back for my selfishness. Each of these little blessings takes a little piece of me and boy does it hurt. It is when I have my own agenda that things get distorted. It is you in the baby’s hungry cry; it is you in the fighting children that need my love and attention in order to teach them how to work together. It is you that I serve through these little guys in all of these small, but beautiful ways! I glorify you! It is so easy to forget this in the day-to-day happenings. Many days I feel like a quickly moving train and in a split second I get off track and continue down the path because it is so hard to stop the moving train. Help me Lord to be faithful to this noble path of motherhood! I need it! I feel so unworthy of being a mother to your children. Thanks Lord Thanks for entrusting these little souls to me, but please help me. It has to be you not me. I am only capable of messing things up. All that I bring to the vocation is my sinfulness, but you bring the beauty and the possibility of all that motherhood could and should be and through you and with you I can be a great and holy mother!

Tea Time

2009-08-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

Annaliese and I had an evening here without the boys...well minus Finn. We decided to have a tea party in the backyard with yummy cookies and milk. We set up the table with flowers and all and had a wonderful tea party. It was so fun spending time with her and listening to her talk. I realize once I have my children alone I actually like them! It is so hard in the chaos of the day to realize just how darn cute they are.
The cutest thing Annaliese said tonight was when she was drinking milk. She came to the conclusion of why her skin is white. She said "See I drink this milk and it goes into my body and it makes me white like this." She then proceeded to drink the milk and point to her skin. It was so darn cute...the reasoning of a three year old!

Simple Summer Fun

2009-08-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

At least once a day we all go outside to ride bikes, draw on the sidewalk, take a walk, find special treasures, lift up rocks to find rolly pollies (annaliese and tristans favorite), find other types of bugs and give them special names, play in the sprinker, play in the baby pool, kick the soccer ball, play in mud puddles, make mud pies, eat dirt and grass, get grass stained clothes, throw crabapples and smash them, eat crabapples and see what a crazy face you make from the sourness of them and so much more. The things to do outside are endless with three curious children. This is a critical part of our day with the boys. Annaliese does not seem as if she needs this time quite as much as the boys, but our day certainly goes better if we are outside for a good portion of the day. Since we have been in our new house Gavin is actually squawking 50% less than he was before we moved here and I think it is because we have the outside time!

The Feast of the Assumption of Mary

2009-08-20T11:32:00.001-07:00

Jessen and Ruth were here to celebrate this special day with us. A rosary and strawberry shortcakes topped off the day. Family rosaries with our young kids are always filled with so many precious/funny moments and of course frustrating moments. I am so inconsistent with everything in life that it is always a wonderful accomplishment to remember special days! Our kids love love love celebrating these feast days of the church and it gives a great opportunity to teach our children. This is definitely not something that happens every feast day, but I hope and pray it will become more consistent. Part of what makes me so inconsistent is the fact I feel like things have to be perfect to accomplish something and it is all or nothing, but I have to say the moments/things or acivities that I feel like are not prepared and will be halfway done and not very good end up being the best because it is yes my effort, but God always makes up for the rest! So God I will do my best, but please make up for all the rest!

Visit from Grandma and Jesses

2009-08-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

Grandma and Jessen came to see baby Finn and spent the weekend with us. It was great to have them here. The kids had more books read to them and every puzzle was completed one afternoon. We love when they come and visit us! Jessen was an extra special treat because her schedule is so busy she normally doesn't make it!

2009-08-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Nana's Visit

2009-08-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Nana for the week she spent with us! It was a huge help and lots of fun for the kids. The days were filled with the park, bounce houses, chuck e cheese and fun at home. Thanks mom.

Labor and Delivery

2009-08-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

So this was the best labor and delivery yet! Here is how it all went.
I woke up throughout the night Tuesday night with strong, but very sporadic contractions. Branden and I knew the next morning labor was definitely approaching we just needed to help it along knowing my body! So Branden took the day off because we knew we would be busy getting everything ready and I would need to focus on bring the baby properly down into the pelvis and did not need to be breaking up fights, changing poopy diapers, wiping booties, fixing meals etc... All my energy needed to be focused on having this sweet little babe! Little Finn had not dropped yet so the proper descent is critical for the delivery and for a good labor so I was really focused on doing what it took during the contractions to get him wedged in the right way in order to cut down on my pushing time, properly progressing labor and less painful contractions. We started the day off with a good breakfast and packing for the hospital and then we decided to go to the mall and walk around the mall because it was so hot outside and I did not want to get to tired. After walking and the kids played and had a special lunch at the mall we headed home for naps. At the mall my contraction were strong but 10 to 15 minutes apart and not getting closer. We came home and rested and then it was back to walking through the neighborhood and a bike ride for everyone else. This is when the contractions began to get closer about every 6 or 7 minutes apart and they were great contractions! I am such a person of anticipation that these moments are actually quite thrilling for me. I love the anticipation of the upcoming labor and then once I am in labor of the the thought of experiencing once again the miracle of seeing a new little life take its first breath. There is nothing in the world like this experience! I love it! To be given the opportunity to do this is such a privelage and I can't believe God gives me this opportunity! So it is about 5:30pm and dinner is being served. I of course pass and continue with my 5 to 6 min contractions until 8:30pm when we get in the car to take the kids to the Coyles (friends in Tn). My mom was on her way, but would not arrive until 10pm. We dropped the kids off in their pjs for a movie night at the Coyles (how thrilling is that for a little kid). To stay up past their bedtime and go to their friends house to watch a movie in their pjs! The kids forgot about the baby at this point because they had such an exciting night ahead of them! We headed to the hospital! It was smooth sailing from this point on. I arrived at 5cm at 9:30 and then at 1:46am little Finn took his first breath. Finnian has broad shoulders as do his brothers which always makes it a little difficult when they are coming out,but he made it and is perfect in every way!

To Nurse or Not to Nurse That is the Question

2009-08-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

I wrote this after I had Annaliese (baby #2) and I was really struggling with nursing as you will see as you read. I pulled it out last week when mastitis struck and nursing was awful, it always seems to help me! My fever hit and flu like symptoms began the day after my mom left.
After I wrote this I thought some of you might be in the same boat with me or about ready to get on the boat or maybe someday will be on the boat or maybe just got off or got off along time ago but still will find this helpful for you or for someone else you know.

To nurse or not to nurse, that is the question, that I along with many other mothers ask ourselves on an hourly basis when we have a nursing baby that seems to be sucking everything out of us from our brain to our toes. We ask ourselves this question after many sleepless nights, when we could otherwise have our husbands help or after not being able to go shopping or run errands for more than two or three hours at a time. We ask ourselves this question when our husbands are holding the baby and they are ready to be relieved and they say "the baby is hungry I don't have the equipment, even though they just ate 20 minutes ago. It is the ultimate excuse for anyone who is tending to a nursing baby that does not want to do so anymore. Tristan our four year old has already learned this trick. This is the question we ask ourselves when we want to spend an evening out with our husband, but it can't be too long because we have to be back to nurse or we have to take the baby with us. This is the question we ask ourselves when none of our shirts fit and we are just tired of having boobs the size of Dolly Parton or so it feels. This is the question we ask ourselves when we have found our lunch in the microwave at dinner time stuck to the plate because it has been reheated three times and we still have not had anything to eat. This is the question we ask ourselves when we get mastitis and our boobs feel as if they have rocks in them and you want absolutely nothing to touch them. Yes you are more busty than ever and more appealing to your husband than ever, but everyone stay far far away! This is the question we ask when our nipples are so sore you have to scream every time the baby latches on. This is the question we ask when after nine months, dang I just want to wear a normal bra (if anyone has ever found a cute pink nursing bra please let me know). THis is the question you ask yourself when you are still leaking milk and having to wear breast pads that make it look as if you have two bulls-eyes on your shirt or you forgot to wear your breast pads that day and have to spill water all over your shirt so it won't look obvious that it is your leaky boobs making your shirt wet. This is the question we ask ourselves when our baby seems to have been attached to us the entire day. This is the question we ask ourselves when we want to go to wedding by ourselves or go on a road trip without having to stop. This is the question we ask ourselves when we want to be at the beach longer than three hours without having to nurse the baby under a blanket in the hot sun and feel uncomfortable doing it. This is the question we ask ourselves when we just want to have one day to ourselves. This is the question we ask when we just don't feel well and don't want anybody to need us. This is the question we ask ourselves when we have just been touched too much that day. This is the question we ask ourselves when we have been trying to get out of the house for an hour and we are now going to be late. This is the question we ask ourselves when our baby has the loudest gas ever that can be mistaken as your own because who would ever guess a little baby could have such noises come out of them. This is the question we ask when we have had to change our babies clothes for the fifth time today because of the explosive poopies. This is the question we ask ourselves when we want to nurse our baby and there is no where to sit except on the toilet because many places are not nursing friendly. This is the question you ask yourself when sitting in the mall and you have people giving you bad looks (this is when you tell people you will see more of womans body in bathing suit than you will see on a modestly nursing mother) This is what you ask yourself when you have a screaming/hungry baby in the car and you just wish you could pass your boob back for them to nurse. This is what you ask yourself when you want to get away for your anniversary with your hubby just for one night or go on a retreat by yourself so you can concentrate better. This is the question you ask yourself when you have other children wanting your attention, dinner to cook before your hubby gets home and house that is turned inside out. It seems impossible that God could really want this and then I realized that it is exactly what God wants because he wants the best for my babies and that is the best I can give them. I thought last night, My goodness I am so tired and feeling so crummy, how could this be, aren't I supposed to feel great and love doing this? My husband brought me back to a statue, a statue that can be found in St. Peters Basilica, the statue that displays the virtue of charity. The statue is of a woman breastfeeding a really fat baby, with more rolls than the Michelin man, and there are several other small children at her feet. My husband brought me back to this image and reminded me of the wise words of a very holy priest who said, this is the ultimate act of charity for a woman, the act of breastfeeding. The giving of oneself to their baby on demand especially when speaking of a young baby who do not have wants, but have needs that need to be met. Rather than describing it so delicately my reply is, "you mean a demanding baby?" I realized that yes, this demand that these children place on us is for our holiness. So the real question for me now is not "to nurse or not to nurse", but to be holy or not to be holy. I can't control my baby and I am not supposed to, but I have to be flexible enough to love my baby with everything I have or rather with the love of God, which is always available and always ready. I figure I have two options here to go nutso or become holy. I will go nutso with lots of little kids and nursing babies if I do it myself, but if I do it with God I will become holy.

Finnian Ambrose O'Neil

2009-08-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

Praise God! A healthy baby boy! Finnian Ambrose O'Neil was born at 1:46am weighing in at 9lbs 10oz, 20.5in.

This never gets old. This experience has really got me thinking, and I'd like to share these thoughts with you, my friends and family.

I'm 27 years old, I have 4 children under the age of 5... I'm friggin nuts right!

Or consider this, in times such as these, when our world seems to be more and more off-base, when the very core of society (family) is being attacked, what better gift could God have given the world than one more soul delivered through a faithful family. He's given us one more man of the kingdom, one more soldier to pick up His sword, and fight His fight. And to think this gift came to the world through me and my bride. What an enormous gift to our family, what an enormous gift to us all.

Mother Teresa said that to say there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers. For Lauri and I... we will continue grow our garden according to God's plan and purpose. Our garden of God designed flowers... our garden of God destined gifts to the world.

Is it convenient for us?... uh, no. But God's perfect Will and creative love rarely are. I'd like to challenge everyone reading this to have a new found love for God's plan in procreation. The world tells us that pregnancy is a convenience thing, and can be treated as a disease with the consumption of a pill. Know, love, understand, and support the fact that God has a plan for our garden.

In Christ's Love,

Branden O'Neil

No baby yet...

2009-08-05T15:17:00.001-07:00

Well still no babe and I have to say I am not surprised. I am definitely in labor, but progressing slowly at home. We have had a great day laboring at home. We have gone to the mall to walk and now we are going for a walk in our neighborhood to see if we can get these contractions closer together. It is just a matter of time. I was dilated to a three yesterday at my doc appointment and had super easy contractions yesterday and cramping. Today the contractions have been spread out, but much more intense!

Labor is a comin

2009-08-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

Okay so tonight at dinner I began to have some discomfort and contractions coming and going. I am the most uncomfortable I have been so far....so who knows. We will see what tonight holds for us! I just decided to look at what the date was tomorrow and what feast day it might be and found out that it is the feast of St. John Vianney the patron of priests in the year of the priest. This was so special to me because I decided from the day I knew I was pregnant to offer my pregnancy and delivery specifically for the perserverance and fidelity of priests. I have done something different with each child such as and increase in vocations, abortion etc...but I really felt back at Thanksgiving last year with all of the priests I knew who were struggling that they needed my prayers the most this pregnancy...so how ironic would it be if I had this little darling tomorrow...if not thats okay, but I did think it was quite cool that I get to be so uncomfortable on this special day of the priesthood!

We moved!

2009-08-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

We moved out of our two bedroom townhome and now we are in a four bedroom house with a yard!!!! Wow wow wow! It is awesome! We love it so much. Tristan learned how to ride a two wheel bike in one day have the place and space to practice and Annaliese quickly was able to use her bike as well. Gavin loves being able to go outside and has not been squawking as much lately! We all love the space that we have to spread out. It is super nice. The pics below are of the first weekend we were here and they had a fourth of July parade with a fire truck leading the way.

Trip to ATL: Alexis' Baptism

2009-08-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

My niece and God daughter got baptized! We mad ea special trip to ATL to see her baptism and celebrate Braxten's graduation from high school.

Vacation Bible School-Discovery Canyon

2009-07-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

Annaliese and Tristan had so much fun during vacation bible school. I volunteered as a fourth grade leader and Gavin stayed in the nursery. The pics are from their performance.

Crockett Park

2009-07-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

An O'Neil family tradition here in TN is going to Crockett Park every Sunday evening/afternoon for the concerts in the summertime. We still go every Sunday even when they don't have the concerts at the park and we have a picnic dinner every Sunday with friends. As you can see in the pics this was a weekend when they had a concert and they are always so many families it is a ton of fun.

Putt Putt

2009-07-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

Daddy taught everyone how to play putt putt golf! We had so much fun!

Gavin

2009-07-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

Annaliese

2009-07-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

Tristan

2009-07-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

Family Pics at the Beach

2009-07-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

St. Simons was such a blast and on top of the great trip we have great pictures to share. A couple of ladies having some beer on the beach took these wonderful pictures of our family and Branden snapped the rest with his super fancy camera. They all turned out so wonderful.

A Day at the Beach

2009-07-31T09:50:00.001-07:00

We went to St. Simons Island for our family vacation and we had a blast. The days were filled with long bike rides, the beach, ice cream, playgrounds, putt putt, the pool and more. We had so much fun. The kids did not want to leave! You can see this day was filled with some beach fun!

Gabriel Bentley's Baby Shower

2009-07-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

We got there an hour late. I got the times confused so we missed the baptism, but got there just in time for cake. I have really been off on my days and times this pregnancy. Sorry Bentley's

Branden's Masterpiece

2009-07-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

So for the baby Bentley shower Branden created this fruit masterpiece.